self-deprecation jokes

Sorry for all the jokes, I'll end it.

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

Yes, I'm CUTE.

C-ringe U-gly T-errible E-mpty.

I hate myself.

What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

Go fuck yourself, cause I doubt anyone else will. 💅

I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

What's sad and has no life? The person reading this.

Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.

What's the difference between me and a rope?

A rope will hang with you.

Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.

Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

The back of my hand.

I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.

Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

I'm fucking retarded.

Me.

The joke is me.

You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

Haha, the joke is me.