self-deprecation

Self-Deprecation Jokes

Walmart

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

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  • Stomach

    What's the difference between my arm and my stomach? My stomach isn't ripped.

    Fruit Ninja

    I told someone some jokes, y'know? "Fruit Ninja," "barcode legs," "French puppet thigh wrings." And she was like saying that's not cool and stuff. So she reported me, and it was like:

    The counselor: "So I've heard you've been making sh jokes?" Me: "You say it like it's a bad thing." Her: "It is." Me: "Chill bro, it ain't that deep. Don't worry I'll end it :)"

    Emo

    Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.

    Money

    I’ve got money and suicidal thoughts, and I’m all out of money.

    Luck

    Sometimes I just wake up in the morning and think, "Damn, better luck next time!"

    Rope

    What's the difference between me and a rope?

    A rope will hang with you.

    Irony

    Ha! It asked me to submit a joke, but then I realized I'm the joke.

    Motivation

    I don't have much motivation for things, that's why I haven't yet killed myself, hehe.

    Roast

    Imagine being such a low life that you need people to roast you to have stuff to do.

    Hand

    What’s strong enough for a man, but made for a woman?

    The back of my hand.

    Luck

    You guys asked for a joke? Well, you're in luck, because you already are one!

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