Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Humor
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”
Where would an astronaut park his spaceship? A parking meteor.
What did the swordfish say to the marlin? You're looking sharp.
Doctor: You need new glasses.
Patient: How'd you know? I haven't even told you what is wrong with me yet.
Doctor: I could tell as soon as you walked in through the window.
What's the difference between dad jokes and bad jokes?
The letter b.
What do you call a funny mountain?
Hill-arious.
I was going to tell a 9/11 joke, but it was really plane.
