Humor
Why can't orphans be gay? Because then they would be home-osexual.
My cousin is in a wheelchair and wanted to battle.
So I went up a step and said, "It's over Anakin, I have the high ground!"
I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!
Me: I have depression.
Someone: You should get out more! Go outside!
Me: *goes to the beach* Now it's a tropical depression.
Why did the Titanic sink? Because your mom was on it.
Memes
What do you call it when you rickroll someone in the LGBTQ?
You just got fruit-rolled.
Why do priests perform baptisms? So they can see children wet.
Why are most dark jokes about orphans?
They can't complain to their parents.
What does an orphan and a banana have in common? They both get split up.
What are the wedding vows of a suicide bomber?
Til death do we park.
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
You have to have real balls to face prostate cancer.
Just not for long!
What did one butthole say to the other?
"I don't know WHAT got into me last night!"
Sister: I don't want to do it, but...
Me: No more butts! Butts are too yuck to be in this sentence.
Me: I'm home, ma! Here's her with a new dad. Her: Go hang with someone. Me: Gets the noose, goes to fav tree. I love you, ma. 🙂
A French Sans would greet you with the "o bone-jour".
What is a cannibal's favorite type of pizza?
Domi-nose.
What's the difference between a trampoline and a dead baby?
I take my boots off before jumping on a trampoline.
More expresso, less depresso. Jk, let's all drink bleach cuz life is a bitch.
English: It's the story of two potatoes, one gets mashed and the other screams “Oh mash!”
French: C’est l’histoire de deux pommes de terre. Une d’elles se fait écraser et l’autre s’écrie “Oh purée!”