Humor
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
When an asteroid is coming to kill us all:
98.9% of the population: OMG, we're all gonna die!
1% of the population: Eh... I never had any friends anyway.
Alia: ROLL THE INTRO!
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.