Humor
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
Memes
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
What did one needle say to the other?
"You be looking sharp!"
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
Why don’t mountains take things seriously?
Because they’re hill areas.
How does Moses make his cup of tea?
He brews it.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.
Why doesn't Helen Keller's kid have ears? She gave it its first haircut!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and a hockey player?
A hockey player gets to shower after three periods.
Q: Why can orphans swim?
A: They have or-fins.
These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.
Boy: Spell ME.
Girl: M-E.
Boy: You forgot the D.
Girl: There is no D in ME.
Boy: Not yet.