Humor
What's the same between a pregnant 14 year old and her fetus? They're both saying "Oh my god, my mom's gonna kill me!"
What do you call a Mexican in the zombie apocalypse?
Answer: "Sweet and spicy chicken."
Stop saying negative shit about dark humor jokes! If it bugs you that bad, then go away! That'll solve everything but world hunger and failed abortion.
Once upon a time, there was a magician named Daniel. He usually did gigs for children, and this time he was working at a kid's birthday party. He walked in and said, "Hi boys and girls, my name is Daniel." He performed multiple tricks, each one amazing the children. Then, he said, "And for my final trick; I will disappear!" He lifted up a blanket and when it fell down he was gone.
Then, the birthday boy said, "Hey, he's like my dad."
"Really?" asked a little girl.
"I guessed?" he said back, "My dad wasn't a magician, but he disappeared. I haven't seen him since...."
A collection of 911 jokes.
What kinda pizza did they order at 911?
Plane.
What was the color of 911?
Plane.
What is the fastest way to see 911?
Plane.
Mr Bean Meme
What do you call an Indian with pink hair?
Ghandi floss.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Queen.
Queen who?
You don't know the queen? You're crazy!
I don't struggle with depression. Like at this point I got it down. I'm good at depression.
What did the priest say to the skunk?
Let us spray.
What do you call a vagina with teeth?
A vicious cunt.
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
Kid: Mom, what’s dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Kid: But, Mom, I’m blind!
Mom: Exactly.
What do you call a Chinese rich man? Cha-ching!
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Friend: Wanna hear a joke?
Other Friend: Sure.
Friend: Pussy.
Other Friend: I don't get it.
Friend: And you never will.
Wait, isn't this Sans' job to make a joke?
PERSON: I need to go so bad!
TOILET: Long time no pee!!!
You want to hear a rape joke? Yeah. Damn you ruined it.
What do you call a black person with a pride flag? A Cosmic Brownie.
How do you wake up Lady Gaga?
Poker Face.