Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
My cousin died last week. He needed a blood transfusion, but we didn't know his blood type. He just kept saying, "B positive, B positive," but it's hard to be positive with him gone.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy. You wouldn't believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? A prostitute won't tell you that it is more blessed to give than it is to receive.
I'm doing a charity bungee jump for the local disabled.
It's called "spastics on elastics."
What is the difference between giving money to a church and giving money to the IRS?
If you stop giving money to a church, you won't go to prison.
What is the difference between giving money to a prostitute and giving money to a church? You don't get something in return if you give money to a church.
Welcome to Dave's Orphanage. "You make it, we take it."
What is a glory hole at the adult bookstore used for? campaign contribution to the Republican Party
if you donate one kidney, everybody loves you, and you’re a total hero. but donate five, and suddenly everyone is yelling. geez!
What did the receptionist at the sperm bank say when you were leaving? "Thanks for coming!" 😉😉
There was a man named, Matt, that went to the church to confess one of his most recent sins. He told the priest, I am here to tell you my sins. He was all for it and said go ahead.
Matt, "Father, Last night I almost cheated on my wife"
Priest, "how so?"
Matt, "We were together naked, but we didn't do anything just rubbed each other, that's all"
Priest, " RUBBING TOGETHER IS THE SAME THING AS PUTTING IT IN! for your sins you must never see that woman again and put $50 in the donation box"
Matt, "okay i promise not to see her again"
Then Matt walks out the door
Priest, "Hey I saw you! you didn't put any money in the donation box!!"
Matt, "Yes I did, I took the money and rubbed it against the box because you said rubbing it is the same thing as putting it in"
A woman approached me in the street the other day with one of those charity collection buckets and asked me: do you know how often people die from AIDS?
I said: now I'm no expert, but I think it's only once.
I won the lottery for a million dollars today, so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity. -- I now have $999,999.75.
DAD: I'm bringing your toys to the orphanage.
SON: Why?
DAD: You're going to need them.
I just read in the news that tons of Americans are sending their old clothes to poor people in Africa.
Seems like a waste of time in my opinion. I've never seen an African with a 52 inch waist.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity
🍷 📺 What does the Bartles and Jaymes wine cooler television ad have in common with ministers who are ✝️ white christian nationalist? They both thank you for your financial support 👍 👍 👌 👌 😘 😘 😊 😊 💰 💰 💸 💸
