Armless jokes

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?

Nothing because they can't open the gift.

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶

What do you call a person with no arms?

Armless.

Armless child: Can you give me a hand??

Me: Ok.

How do you get a man with only one arm out of a tree?

Wave.

My arms are just a different texture pack compared to my body.

Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms.

Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her.

Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms.

Why did Sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus.

Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.

What do you call a guy with no arms and legs, at your front door?

Matt.

How did the man with no arms commit suicide?

We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.