Armless

Armless Jokes

Suicide

So, a man was on a ledge ready to kill himself because he got laid off at work and his girlfriend cheated on him. He was about to jump until he saw from a mountainside a little guy with no arms dancing around. So he thought, "Maybe my life ain't so bad." So he went to the mountainside. "Thank you," he said, "I was gonna jump off a bridge and kill myself until I saw you dancing, even though you have no arms. Dancing?" the armless man said bitterly, "My asshole itches and I can't scratch it."

Kid

What present did the armless kid get for Christmas?

He got gloves. Ohh, sorry, he could never open the present.

Knock

Knock, knock. Who's there? An armless person. Why? They got stumped on why they contacted you.

Kid

What do you give a armless kid for Christmas?

Nothing because they can't open the gift.

Guy

Armless guy: Even though I don’t have arms, I can do anything you normal people can do.

Me: 🎵If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands! 🎶