Humor
I would tell a dad joke, but it already left me.
What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? Gloves! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.
What do you call a basement full of SJW's?
A whine cellar.
KFC doesn't mean Kentucky Fried Chicken, it means "Kill Fat Children."
My wife went to Niagara Falls and fell. She broke every bone in her body.
One year later, she recovered. She slipped on an orange peel and died.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Couldn't get his dick out of the chicken.
Confucius say, female pilot who fly upside down have crack up.
Everybody was kung flu dying.
It traveled as fast as lightning.
2020 was expert timing.
In fact, it was a little bit frightening.
Q: How can you tell if a vampire is sick?
A: By how much he's coffin.
It is reported that when Churchill met Stalin at Yalta, they discussed their hobbies.
Churchill said: "I collect the jokes people tell me about me."
"That's a coincidence," said Stalin, "I collect the people who tell jokes about me."
What do you call an act of “funny” discipline? A PUN-ishment!
If someone calls you dirty minded just say:
"You are dirty minded as well if you understand what I'm saying."
Why did the ocean break up with the pond?
Because the pond was too shallow.
What unit of measurement is used on farms? Barn yards.
The crocodile just kept saying, "No!" He was in Da Nile!
How did Aby get away from Mr. Ryan in Iran? He ran!
I tried to make a belt out of watches, but it was a waste of time.
Why do ghosts love elevators? They lift their spirits!
What happens when you cross a rhetorical question with a joke?
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!