A kid walks in late to class. The teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." Another kid walks in late to class, and the teacher asks him, "Why are you late?" and he replies, "I was busy throwing pebbles in the lake." The last kid walks in and the teacher says, "Why are you late?...and why are you wet?" and the kid says back, "Remember, my name is Pebbles!!"
Humor
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
What do you call a white man having intercourse with a black woman?
An Oreo.
Q: What is a Mexican's favorite restaurant?
A: On The Border.
I guess you can say he xxxpired.
I was trying to make friends, and this one person came up to me. They said, "Lettuce be friends?" I just laughed and said that was tear-able.
Hell in Greek times was known as cold and misty... so now just look at Seattle.
A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers and says, "Five beers, please!"
What's the difference between a Lamborghini and an erection? I don't have a Lamborghini.
Why did Hitler's girlfriend break up with him? He Hit-ler.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can and I asked her what she was doing and she said moving.
People are making apocalypse jokes like there's no tomorrow.
What’s the difference between a tuna and a tube of glue?
You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna.
What happened to the glue?
I knew you would get stuck on that!
Guess what? Chicken butt.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anal.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
What has three balls and flies through space?
E.T. the extra testicle.
What do you call a redneck on fire?
A fire cracker.
Why did that fish cross the road?
Just for the halibut (hell of it)!
Don't make Iran jokes. My mom died by a rocket launcher. She was the best sharp shooter in the Iranian army.
