Human jokes
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"