Human jokes
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
What do you call a tall person?
A tall person.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
WOULD YOU RATHER:
Eat 20 lbs of cow s**t?
or
Drink a gallon of sperm?
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.