Human jokes
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Memes
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
What do you call a little boy with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
So, you're human, huh? Well, I'm a skeleton, so not much gets under my skin.
What do sharks and people have in common? The great ones are white.
You know what is the worst mistake every human being made?
Answer: Living.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
What's the difference between a cat and a human? About 500 bullets.
Boy: *scares girl*
Girl: "Gosh, you scared me, Jesus!"
Jesus: *Arrives out of nowhere and said, "What is it, human? I got work to do."*
Girl: What work?
Jesus: "Coming out of nowhere when people say 'Jesus.'"
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
If there was a quiz on midgets, here’s the Midget quiz and the questions that would be on it:
1. When midgets get high on any drug, do they get high or medium?
2. Do midgets come out the closet or the cabinet?
3. Are Midgets related to Snow White’s 7 Dwarfs?
4. Is a midget just a human without the mushroom in Mario?
5. Was this funny?
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.