I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?
My best friend.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
There were 30 high school seniors taking finals, and once they finished, the teacher, Mrs. Jones, walked up and down the classroom to collect the tests, and asked, "So, are you guys ready for college?" And Brian answered, "No way. School is just a waste of time, every day taking *seven cruel hours of our lives*." Angela replied, "Never! Like Brian said, school is just a waste of time, and the next level is surely not worth paying $50,000 for. Besides, math class is *mental abuse to humans*!" And Jack said, "School has been a waste of so much time I'll never get back, and after these *finals* I've realized... *fuck, I never actually learned shit*!"
Why doesn't Voldemort have a human nose?
Because his snake bit it off!
How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?
Because they both have eyes.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
What’s a cannibals favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men)
How do you get a woman to give head? Force it down her throat and hold the back of her head. Make her gag for a little and then pull out. Do this over and over for 30 seconds or so. If she doesn't open up, choke her and force her mouth open. Woman aren't human anyways... lol
Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?
Me: I'm just BONELY.
Sans: Good one kiddo.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.
Papyrus was playing with the human, but then Papyrus fell and he broke the cell bone of the human.
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
What do you call an emo kid with light-up shoes? A human chandelier.
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
Why did the butt let out a fart?
Answer: To wipe out humanity!
Your forehead is like a line, it just keeps going.
