Human jokes

There are 206 bones in the human body, but I’d really like to have 207.

Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.

Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.

What do you call a kid named Caitlyn?

My best friend.

I saw an orphan fall in the street crying, so I ran up to him and said, "Are you okay? Where are your parents?"

How are a bald eagle and a bald man similar?

Because they both have eyes.

Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.

Why doesn’t Jesus trust humanity anymore?

Because he doesn’t wanna get double-crossed.

Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?

And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?

Names.

While I was out shopping, I tripped in a store and a lady would not stop staring at me. For fun, I said, "Sorry! It's been a while since I've possessed a body." She looked horrified.

Dads are like boomerangs... I hope!

Son: Dad, why is my name Experience? Dad: Son, Experience is the name we give our mistakes.

You won't eat a human, so why eat meat? Bold of you to presume I won't eat a person.

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

Papyrus: HUMAN, WHY ARE YOU SAD?

Me: I'm just BONELY.

Sans: Good one kiddo.

What’s a cannibal's favorite food? Ramen (Ra-Men).

Did you know Paul Walker was a method actor? He took his role very seriously as a human torch.

I'm 50% human, so that 50% stupid is 100% you.

I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.

Is that a person over there?

Na, it's Jesus.

Christmas. Living proof arseholes exist.

Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?