Everyone is autistic midgets.
Human Jokes
what's the difference between morbid humor & dark humor?
dark humor fits 10 people in 1 container.
morbid humor fits 1 person on ten containers.
The pie tasted weird today.
Then I realized that my mother likes cooking pie with human flesh from C town.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
How are humans and computers different? A human doesn't have trouble shooting.
I like my humans like I like my chicken... Fully cooked.
What do cannibals call newborn babies?
Fresh fruit.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
What did God say when he made the Black human? Oh no, I burnt another one!
Today I learned that on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don’t like the taste of monkey.
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
What's the difference between a blind man and a window?
The window can see through itself.
A man walks into a library and asks to borrow a book on how to commit suicide.
The librarian says, “No, you won’t bring it back.”
If Batman is half bat and half human, how was he made?
"He wasn't because you can't f*ck a bat."
Once, there was a woman who had a husband and a dog. The husband dies.
The dog would always sleep under the bed, and when the woman would go to sleep, she'd put her hand down, and the dog would lick it to say she/he was alright. One night, it was thunderstorming. She put her hand down and the dog licked normally. She heard the dog whimper, so she put her hand down like normal, as the dog always does, he/she licks her hand.
Then she heard dripping coming from the bathroom, so she went to go stop the leaking that might be coming from the tap, but the tap wasn't on, nor was it dripping. She turns on the light and looks up at the roof to see if the roof was leaking but turns out her dog was hung by its head above the bathtub.
On the mirror it said, "Humans can lick too," in the dog's blood.
This is a true story, don't be afraid to look it up!
What's the difference between a retard and a normal person?
A normal person is not named Josh Wakling.
I pray to a dead human I hope to be reunited with.
Jesus, that's sick.
I don't have a joke, I just have a friend named Jack.
Why are skinny people skinny?
Because he don't have a family to breastfeed on.
Lucas is a baby, a little girl, ooo!