The average human male walks for five miles, but the gas station is ten miles away. So why does it take fifteen years for my dad to buy cigarettes?
What is a cannibal's favorite food?
Crackers.
What do you call a baby that came out of their mother's womb? A virgin.
Once I had a cat. The cat liked human beverages.
One day I decided to throw a party. The cat went over to get some soda. There was a line. I told him that he needed to wait in line. The line was too long for the cat. Then he walked to the punch bowl. He saw that there was no punch line. Very much like this joke.
Why is my pee pee 2 inches in length but 5 in girth?
Do you wanna know the best thing about 28 year olds?
There are 20 8 year olds.
What does a human and a cat have in common? Both take my bed.
What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.
Mary had a little lamb.
Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
What body part do pigs have that humans don’t have?
A hambone.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because it was a very large mammal; its throat was very small.
The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I will ask Jonah."
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."
What's the difference between a baby and a sandwich?
I don't f**k a sandwich before I eat it.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
Sun: Hi, I am the sun! I want to warm you up......
Human: :D
Sun: I want to BuRn you.........
Human: .......
Sun: I want to...... KILL...... you.....
Human: I should be going now.
Sun: LET ME KILL YOU!
Human: *Screams his last sound*
What's bright red and screams when you shake it? A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call a person?
A person.
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
