What is the toughest part of the human body?
Anal hair, all the shit that they go through.
Humans. We are the joke. Retards.
What's the single worst terrestrial species? Humans, obviously.
One time a kid came to the hospital and said, "I really need help." The kid said he was really hot, so they put an ice cold towel on him.
Then the doctor asked him if he had any problems, and he said, "Yes, I am really hot." The doctor realized that he looked fine, so he said, "Are you sure? You look amazing." And the kid said that he meant to say, "I look hot!"
How do rapists justify murdering a young innocent human being?
Same way as pro-aborts, by saying "My body, my choice!"
im a human syke im pickle rick
Why do humans hate aliens?
Because Fortnite took them out of the game, and I want aliens back in Fortnite!
I was happy for once, and my family was happy I was happy, but that all changed when they found out I was thinking about bridges and humans.
What did the turtle tell the man? To keep being 5G7T4IPK24O[\]TWERGWREWGRGR.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Did you know an eraser on a pencil slowly dies from your mistakes?
And did you know you're actually supposed to live for 25 minutes, but every time you breathe, it resets time?
A man walks into a bar the man says why the human face It’s not funny At All
Yo mama is so ugly that when she went through a face ID, it didn't think she was human.
What do you call a protest that gets crowded?
Human trafficking.
Why don't humans eat raw meat? Because they use technology to cry about raw meat is good. Go and leave, bro, I'm going to eat sushi.
Women be like if men are gone, Earth would be a better place, (forgetting) women help to create war, weapons, animal and human cruelty, and have helped to enforce laws that oppress them.
What do you call New York City?
A human zoo.
Yo mama's so fat that Jane Goodall couldn't tell if she was a chimpanzee or a human being.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
How does a cannibal like his meat?
Human.
