The last time I had flying lessons, I hit some building in Manhattan. Then my Uncle got shot in 2008. Darn...
Aboriginals around for 50,000 years invented the spear.
Hitler isn’t really a bad guy, after all, he did kill Hitler himself.
"Another one bites the dust."
In America, you fight Ukraine.
In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.
9/11, also known as the day football stopped.
Why does Hitler need glasses?
Because he could Nazi.
If Hitler was a comedian, he would use laughing gas.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
Joe: What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
Ben: I don't know.
Joe: They both look good until they hit the ice.
I was at a train station and a woman ran up to me and asked, "Is this train running on time?" I said, "No, it runs on steam and coal."
What’s the difference between a Black man and a Jew?
One was born burnt.
What did they find in Jeffery Dahmer's apartment?
Jack in a box.
Why did my dad cross the road?
To get to the nearest building so he wouldn't die in the crippling smoke of the most terrifying and only terrorist attack on American soil.
What do you call a dinosaur that loves sucking dino dick?
Sucks-alota-cocka-sorass.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two until they divided into multiple pieces.
A note for my History Teacher:
Frick frack apple jack tic tac sick sack Mr. Khan and give him a big fat whack 'cause his teaching's got lack, his system I will hack and through the screen I'll give him a smack. I'll throw him on the clothing rack. On his seat I'll put thumb tacks, I'll break his momma's back... and he'll never come back.
What do you call someone who used to kill people? An ex-executioner.
How do you kill a little boy?
You throw him between two Catholic priests.
