Castle jokes
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Like if you are in high school and miss school!
So I got my brother a jumping castle for his birthday. That bitch cried in his wheelchair.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
Why is Cinderella white?
Because she is superior.
Knight HAHAHAHA!
What does Cinderella wear to the beach?
Glass slippers.
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
As ruler of a kingdom, I wanted a knight. Duke Leo Pessi IV offered himself but wanted a wife in return. I offered my beautiful daughter to him. However, he slapped her and proceeded to wreck my castle. All this whilst crying “I don’t want princess, I want farmer!”
DAMN YOU PESSI!
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck