Mom: You need to grow up. You're so immature.
Me: *glares* Get out of my castle....
Mom: It's a pillow fort.
Me: Why can't I have an imagination! ?
Mom: You're almost 19 years old.
Me: Not good enough... OUT!
Castle Jokes
5, 4, 3, 2, 1. A castle weighs a ton. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The Queen of England's won! I never thought she'd get it done, but her sister is a nun.
I sleep in a castle once every 2 weeks.
It's my fort knight.
What kind of cheese protects castles?
MOAT-zerrela.
Where do Dairy Queen and Burger King go after dinner?
White Castle.
If Joey Deacon made his own company, it would be called The Joey Deacon Company; Walt Disney should have a run for its money.
P.S. The Joey Deacon Pictures logo would have some autistic people making noises to "When You Wish Upon A Star", with the castle being the Blue Peter ship instead.
What do you call a candle in armor?
A knight light.
In chess, why does the queen have more mobility than the king?
Because the chessboard looks like a kitchen floor.
What do White Castle sliders and Michael Jackson have in common? They have their meat in tiny wet buns.
What did Gandalf say to Mario? "You shall not pass!"
What did the knight say to his younger brother? "Good night."
You expected a silly pun there, didn't you? That's pretty rude. It makes light of the struggles of being a knight. Especially a good knight.
My wife told me to treat her like a princess, so I got drunk and drove through the tunnel.
Who’s the roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table?
Circumference.
Mario: Princess Peach got kidnapped again!
Luigi: Where did they go?
Mario: To the left.
Luigi: Fuck
The Ruler of Varvona wanted a fruitcake, but his subjects showed up at his castle with a Christian instead.
And he said: "NO, NO, NO! YOU IMBECILES! NOT THAT KIND OF FRUITCAKE!"
What did Cinderella leave at the ball?
Her virginity.
Royal rebel and push so back, they ever marble say that drink pushback.
What was the nickname for the knight who ruled the fort?
"Fortnite"
Why didn’t Harry Potter use the chamber to teach Dumbledore’s army?
Because at one point poisonous gases were put in it.
Knight HAHAHAHA!