History jokes
How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.
Why can’t American people play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
It's a shame Iran doesn't know how to restrain Israel. If only they had Hitler's expertise.
Now he really would be THE FINAL SOLUTION!
What's the different when a little boy drops in Japan then and now?
When a little boy falls today he gets back up. But then everyone fell and never came back up.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because he next to 9 and 11.
Why were the UK and the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost their queen and two towers.
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.
What's the last thing to go through the minds of 9/11 victims?
Their kneecaps.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
Taig
How did pioneers name Canada?
They put a bunch of letters in a hat and pulled out three. The first one was "C, eh?" The second one was "N, eh?" The last letter was "D, eh?"
That's how they named "C, eh? N, eh? D, eh?"
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
2023- my dad is a cop.
1800- my dad owns your dad.
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!
Yo mama so old that she knew "The Outsiders" when they were "The Insiders."
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
What was the name of a Roman guide?
Guide Gius.