History jokes
Why is England so bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they lost their queen.
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
They made a movie about 9/11.
It was a big hit.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.
England: No towers?
America: No queen?
England: Remember 1812?
America: No tea?
Yo mama so fat, when she was just there, she made the whole earth go back to the ice age!
What did the dinosaur say to the man?
It didn’t, they're dead.
Titanic hit a dimetrodon.
Why can’t Helen Keller drive? She’s dead.
Why did Diana cross the road? Because she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Guess what that is and it’s explosive. The end looks like <>
What was the last thing to go through Princess Diana’s head before she died?
The steering wheel.
Have you heard the Twin Tower jokes? Well, they're more down than the Twin Towers.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza, but all they got was a plane.
Who are the fastest readers of mankind?
The victims of 9/11, they went through dozens of stories in a couple of seconds.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, 110 stories in 10 seconds.
For a while, lead was used in pencils, but... we realised that it might not have been the smartest idea because it lead (badoom ching) to some people getting lead poisoning.
How are the faster readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they read 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why are Germans good at smoking?
They had experience with smoking.