History jokes
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza.
They only got plain.
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ́s propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
Memes
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
Make America hate again.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seat belt.
What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?
Asians caused them both!
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
How do we know the Ancient Egyptians were into organized crime?
They were always using pyramid schemes!
Hey, 2001 just called.
They want their towers back.
My grandfather killed Hitler.
Get it? Get it?
What do you call a son of Gilgamesh that hates flashy lights? The epileptic of Gilgamesh.
"I’m coming for you two!"
Did you hear about the new drink commemorating Princess Diana?
It had nine shots and seven chasers!
Wait till the end.
Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7, 8, 9.
But why was 10 scared? Because it was in the middle of 9/11!