History jokes
How do Germans tie their shoes? Answer: In Nazis!
People often ask me what I would do for a Klondike bar. Well, I'd straight up put 5 hijackers on Flight 175 before it departed from Logan Airport at 8:14 a.m. on September 11, 2001.
What was Jim Jones' favorite drink?
Killer Kool-Aid.
What do people say to knights when they go to bed? Good knight!
Everyone is a gangster until Helen Keller hits a 3 on you.
Thanksgiving
Free blacks in the Civil War is the same as me drawing a reverse card in Uno.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims – they went 89 stories in ten seconds.
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
Because they have already lost their towers.
Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?
His family was blown up by meteors.
(Not an orphan joke).
Why are Americans bad at Clash Royale?
Because they've lost 2 towers.
Who remembers when ‘tweeting’ meant “stabbing a hooker”?
Do you know how to confuse Helen Keller?
Put her in a room and tell her to find the corner.
I would tell a joke, but I’m sad my dad died in 9/11. He’s the greatest pilot that went down with the Twin Towers.
The Twin Towers ordered a pepperoni pizza.
They only got plain.
A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."
Q: Why did China take over Tibet? A: Because they china exploit foreign resources and keep it for themselves like bitch ass jerks.
Btw, these are real facts despite the CCP ́s propagandist narratives. #FreeTibet #FreeHongKong #FreeInnerMongolia #FreeUyghers
Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"
If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.
Make America hate again.
What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?
Asians caused them both!