History jokes
Why do the Greeks and Romans like food? Because food is good for you.
Why can't Americans trade with other countries? We lost the trading center!
Roses are red, violets are blue, the last time people got depressed ended World War II.
What's the same with shoes and slaves?
When they get loose, you tie them up.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They ordered pepperoni pizza, and all they got was plane.
My grandpa died during World War II. He was the best concentration camp guard they have ever seen. RIP.
What do Nike and the KKK have in common?
They both make Black people run faster.
What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?
Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.
Why do orphans hate the color black? Because it reminds them of their dark history.
Yo mama was really the reason why the Titanic sunk.
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
Because they got plane pizza instead of cheese!
Why is Russia invading Ukraine?
«Мы хотим вернуть Советский Союз!»
My grandpa personally killed 3 German pilots. He was the worst mechanic Luftwaffe had.
What do the Twin Towers and gender have in common? There used to be two of them, but now it's a sensitive topic.
Tonight, on Top Gear!
James May dives a bus full of kids off a mountain!
Richard Hammond starts WW3 in Germany!
And I fly a plane into the World Trade Center!
What was the Roman Empire cut in half by?
A pair of Caesars.
What do 9/11 and Covid-19 both have in common?
Asians caused them both!
Mickey Mouse is speaking with a divorce attorney...
...and the attorney says, "I'm sorry Mickey, I've gone over all of Minnie's medical history and I find no evidence of mental illness."
To which Mickey replies, "I didn't say she's crazy! I said she's fucking Goofy!"
Who says white people can't jump?
Have you seen the 911 footage?
Why can't America play chess?
Because it lost two towers.