History jokes
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?
Two large plains.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
Nosy.
I will mummyfry you!
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
Twin Towers, more like dead towers.
Yo hairline is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
9/11 Joke?
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
What is Alan Turing's reincarnation doing?
Getting revenge for what some people said about him being gay.