History jokes
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's a woman.
No, really. Why can't she drive?
Because she died.
What kind of pizza did the twin towers order?
Two large plains.
Who got shot in the head? JFK did!
What was George's last message to humanity before joining the others?
"I CAN'T BREATHE!"
When the Two Towers ordered pizza, all they got was plane.
Memes
Nosy.
Q: Where did Helen Keller go to school?
A: Anywhere she was homeschooled.
I will mummyfry you!
Hippity hoppity, women are property!
9/11 happened... right?
The cops respond to 9-1-1... coincidence, I think not.
What's the difference between the Christ and Anti-Christ? The Romans put sugar syrup on the second one.
9/11 Joke?
Yo hairline is so long it makes the Titanic look tiny.
Twin Towers, more like dead towers.
Why don't orphans like Russia and Germany?
Because it's the Mother and Father Land.
Iceberg: You may know me.
Titanic: You are a sucker.
Iceberg: You hit me.
Titanic: Moron.
Iceberg: Waaaaaaaaaa!
Titanic: I don’t give a shit.
Did I ever tell you my father should have been on the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers?
But that's just my opinion.
Q. What is the Titanic's favorite food?
A. Ice burger.
I'm George Washington. I can't spell "teeth" or "American."
I was going to invite your friends to your birthday, but they were all extinct.