History jokes
President Joseph Biden said during the first presidential debate of the 2024 presidential election that he does not debate as well as he used to. Mr. Biden also can't think as well as he used to either, but then again when Mr. Biden was a United States senator in the state of Delaware he never could think because thinking was never one of his strengths and that is the reason why Mr. Biden became President Obama's vice president in the first place.
Oh well, that's politics.
9/11.
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
Adolf Hitler
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! 😭😭
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!