History jokes
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Memes
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
How could the German people fall for Hitler and the Nazis?
There were an awful lot of red flags!
Are you the Twin Towers?
Because I want to smash you.
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
Why are 9/11 victims the fastest readers in the world?
Because they went through 90 stories in just 10 seconds!
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.