History jokes
What did Jeff Dahmer say to the gays? Get over here and let me give you so much anal to where you die, DADDY! UWU!
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
All of the sudden, if you're Republican, you're racist, and Communism is a symbol of freedom? What happened to the proud men our founding fathers were, damn it!
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
A man was raping a woman and thought the year was 1970, and he exclaimed to the judge later that he was her husband.
She got sent to the Asylum for Hysteria.
Wait, what? Was he actually her husband?
He was a Christian, so that actually meant he was AFTER the rape.
Wait, what? The Bible doesn't say that.
Actually yes, it does, and marital rape was legal until 1990.
WAIT WHAT? That's not funny.
I'll tell ya what's funny, that you think the women have nothing to complain about.
President: Them damn flat faced n**g*rs!!
Man: We have the power of the sun itself!
President: Drop it on them!
Man: You push the button.
President: *sigh* Fine give it to me.
Man: Hands over button
President: Pushes it
Both: YAAA!
President: Bumps into the button pressing it again
Both: Oh, sh*t!
Meanwhile in Japan after the first bomb went off
Japanese man: Ah sh*t here we go again