History jokes
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What did the people who cracked the Liberty Bell get for breaking it?
The no-bell prize.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Memes
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
Why were the Twin Towers mad? They wanted pepperoni, but instead, they got plane.
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
Stop making jokes about 9/11, my dad died in 9/11.
BEST PILOT OF SOUTHERN ARABIA
ALAKBAR
Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?
Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!
Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
What's a pirate's favorite letter? You'd think it's the "R," but it's really the "C."
9/11 wasn’t the date, it was the score.
Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.