History jokes
The Titanic basically nominated all the passengers for the ice bucket challenge.
I smell ice a mile. Titanic, I want to iceberg.
Balalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala!
What’s heavy, black, and can’t swim?
Ted Kennedy’s Oldsmobile Delmont 88 with Mary Jo Kopechne trapped inside.
"I don't want to go on my at-home history."
- My friend, anon 2019.
Memes
What does the Titanic sell most?
Icebreakers.
What do you call a knight that has one arm? A first battle night.
What do you call a knight that lost both arms? A two battle useless knight.
What happens when a sink on the Titanic overflows?
It sinks it.
How do you kill a Catholic?
Crucify them...
Why did Steven Hawking die?
A quad rasher ran him over.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
When Caesar’s wife told him she dreamed he should beware the Ides of March, he scoffed and said, “What? It’s not like I’m gonna be stabbed 23 times by my best buddies!”
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
Q: What did Jesus say when he got nailed to the cross?
A: Owwww!!!!!
Your hair goes so far back in time, even cavemen saw it!
Yo mama so old her Bible was autographed by Jesus.
Your hairline goes so far back that the History Channel made a show about it.
What if Hitler did not say "bombs away," he said "lambs are slayed?"
How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it!
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they’ve already lost 2 towers.