History jokes
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
Because they have already lost 2 towers!
Genders are a lot like the Twin Towers.
There used to be two of them, now it's a sensitive subject.
What do Hiroshima and Nagasaki share in common with balls?
They both drop.
A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.
If 6 is scared of 7 because 7 8 9, why is ten scared? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
Why are Americans bad at Clash of Clans?
Because they have already lost 2 towers.
Why is America not good at Clash Royale? Answer: They lost 2 towers! 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Have you ever seen Helen Keller's dog?
Neither has she.
What do you get when a dinosaur farts?
A blast from the past!
Do you know who invented paper?
Cai Lun!
“RIP” Cai Lun.
No one:
Literally no one:
Abraham Lincoln: *dies*
John Wilkes Booth: *ranks up*
Hitler was talking about how to fight in WW2 when someone sneezed while Hitler was giving a speech, so Hitler yelled, "WHO SNEEZED ROW 1? DID ANYONE SNEEZE?" They said no, and Hitler shot everybody. Same for row 2 & 3, but in row 4 someone nervous said, "Me, I'm sorry." Then Hitler said, "Bless you."
Why did Hitler say "nein"? Because he just got raped, bitch!
Who are the fastest readers? Nine-eleven victims, because they fell through 720 stories in under 10 seconds.
Once I went to a museum and overheard someone speaking to an employee for information.
"These are lying clocks, they tell how many lies a person tells."
"Oh, cool."
"This is Mother Teresa’s clock; the clock hasn’t moved because she never lied."
"Makes sense."
"This is Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands only moved twice, indicating he only lied twice."
"Where’s Trump’s clock?"
"Oh, we’re using it as a ceiling fan."
And then I burst out laughing 'cause it’s so true.
Q: Name a murderer?
A: Jews: Hitler. Russians: Stalin. Chinese: Mao. Americans: Bin Laden. Aborted fetus: My mom.
What do you get when you cross a Cuban and corrupt dictator, Fidel Castro?
Have you ever had Ethiopian food??
Neither have they.
What did Caesar’s cat say to him?
Nothing. Cats don’t talk.