9/11.
History Jokes
In fields of gold, where sunshine beams, Monkeys swing and play, it's their dreams. Their fur so soft, their eyes so bright, Picking cotton with delight.
Their little hands so quick and neat, Plucking the cotton, can't be beat. They chatter and laugh, they dance and play, In the fields all day, they'll stay.
Their tails so long, their ears so big, They're quite the sight, it's quite a gig. They're busy as can be, you see, In the fields of cotton, they're free.
So let us marvel at these little thieves, In the fields of gold, they give and receive. Their antics bring us joy and delight, In the fields of cotton, they're always right.
Yo mama so old, I bet she was born when dinosaurs were made, and also she killed them with they breath! ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Why did Hitler kill himself? He knew the war was over at the beginning.
I heard World War 500000 in my parents'.
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What was purple and conquered the world?
Alexander The Grape.
What do my baby and dinosaurs have in common? They are both dead.
I invented a time-traveling machine and traveled back to Pangea. I warned the dinosaurs about the deadly asteroid. They told me, "It wasn't an asteroid... it was Pionel Pessi's penalty ball ricocheted from Mars that made them extinct." Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Pessi!
What happened when Obama ran for president?
The whole US thought, "Holy hell, it's Osama bin Laden!" Thought he was dead.
Why do white people carry Confederate flags?
To remind us that they are losers.
Question: What's brown and sitting on the piano bench?
Answer: Beethoven's last movement.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.
Russians think they are tougher than Americans. Here are some reasons for the Russians out here reading this:
1. USA was NEVER invaded!
2. USA never commits as many war crimes as Russia does!
3. USA made the first nuclear weapon so yeah shove that up your ass, Russians!
4. Our soldiers don’t rape kids.
5. We have more allies than you.
6. We are smaller but stronger.
7. Random civilians in the USA have stronger guns than Russian military does!
My dad killed himself because he was Hitler.
How do you think Julius Caesar killed his enemies?..
With a pair of Caesars! 😂😂👌
Why do Japanese people hate iPhones? Because they're scared that American airdrops will fall on them.
Why did Hellen hate when her dad yelled at her?
Oh wait, she didn’t know! 🤣🤣
My grandfather loves Hitler. They both had one ball.
They call it the Cold War because Russia is cold in 2 ways.
