Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
Help Jokes
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
My father told me to always carry a women's bag, but I don't know why he called the cops on me when I helped Mom's bag when we went parachuting. :(
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.
I once masturbated in the bathroom.
I was looking for something, for a little help.
Looked in the wardrobe and found something perfect.
I'LL NEVER SEE A TOOTHBRUSH THE SAME WAY AGAIN!
HELP! HELP!
TELL THE PRIEST TO STOP TICKLING ME!
One day I went to talk to my friend.
"Hi John!" I said.
No response.
"Oh, yeah."
I went to pick up the remote and clicked the unmute button.
"Hope that helps!"
Russia: "Silence."
Ukraine: Help...
My mom told me to help her with the laser, but it was opposite day, so I pushed her down.
She said help, so I kicked her.
This is rifle. ▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一 He needs help being spread across this website. Copy this message and paste it on any joke upon this website. Spread and save rifle.
Friend (Evan): Did you do some dumb shit?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Did you get us both in trouble?
Me: Hell yeah.
Friend (Evan): Will I still help you because you are my best friend?
Both: FUCK YEAH!
Gwen!!!!!! I need your help!!!!!!!!!!
Orphan: Help, I'm lost.
Someone: Wears your parents.
Orphan: >:(
You're so ugly that every time you look up in the sky, God says, "Sorry, can't help you."
