Help jokes

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.

Why is my anus burning?

'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"

BA DUM TSS

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

His name is "Daddy!" HELP!

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.

Like a work film, to take new in the center.

More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

Osama Bin Laden thrown in ocean!

People who helped with the Twin Towers destruction: ...

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.