Help jokes
A: What did the podiatrist say to the double amputee?
Q: Sorry, but I can't help you.
Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?
I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?
His name is "Daddy!" HELP!
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.
A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"
BA DUM TSS
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
I call this my great talk with Siri.
Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.
Siri: My mother? Huh?
Me: Did I stutter?
Siri: Interesting question.
Me: It wasn’t a question.
Siri: I’m not sure I understand?
Me: You should understand.
Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?
Me: No, you b***.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.
By recruiting sponsors, they help them find work in their first year.
I think they are New York Jets fans and the Jets QB helped them... That's why one of them was off target.
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.
And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.
It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
Like a work film, to take new in the center.
More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!