Help jokes

Put Helen Keller in George Floyd's position. How would she cry out for help? Would she just moan, or would she try to do sign language?

I found the best GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.

I am starting a business where I help people count. It is called making the little things count.

You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.

Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)

Me: God, no, help!

*game notification pops up with very loud sound*

Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

Why is my anus burning?

'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!

I'm at school and this website isn't blocked, and I need help on who did 9/11?

A Down syndrome child is drowning, he calls for help with all of his voice: "Somebody help me!! I'm Downing!"

BA DUM TSS

His name is "Daddy!" HELP!

When you have to fight an emo kid, but he brings his friends, so you gotta fight the Suicide Squad. But you gotta get the boys to help you.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.

I call this my great talk with Siri.

Me: Hey Siri, give me a "yo mama" joke.

Siri: My mother? Huh?

Me: Did I stutter?

Siri: Interesting question.

Me: It wasn’t a question.

Siri: I’m not sure I understand?

Me: You should understand.

Siri: Hmm... Is there something else I can help with?

Me: No, you b***.

Like a work film, to take new in the center.

More good, Tar de Spring is the mill Murray Hurlowar Skelett Dwight Dowl - for its general help!

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.

"Daveon, stop screaming for help because I broke your kneecaps!"

I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore.

And if I tried it, it would probably crash and burn.

It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.

I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.