Who was the meanest man in the world: He raped Helen Keller and threw her down a well but not before cutting off her fingers so she couldn't yell for help.
ahem.. if somebody you dont like, or somebody random just calls you in general,
answer the phone with this
Hello thank you for choosing mamas pizzeria/ abortion clinic, your loss is our sauce how may i help you?
or
hello this is davids orphanage you make them we take them how may i help you?
some people reactions are priceless and then the wonder about you mental health
A father and his young son go to a restaurant and to keep him occupied, he gives the boy three pennies to play with. Suddenly, the boy starts choking and his face starts turning blue! The father realizes the boy has swallowed the pennies and starts slapping him on the back... The boy coughs up two of the pennies, but keeps choking.
Looking at his son, panicking, the father starts shouting for help.
A well dressed, serious looking woman, in a blue business suit is sitting at a nearby table reading from her laptop and sipping a cup of coffee.
At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down, gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurried, across the restaurant.
Reaching the boy, the woman carefully drops his pants, takes hold of the boy’s testicles and starts to squeeze and twist, gently at first and then ever so firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the last penny, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy’s testicles, the woman walks back to her seat at the coffee bar without saying a word, but keeps the penny.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her saying, “I’ve never seen anybody do anything like that before, it was fantastic. Are you a doctor?”
“No,” the woman replied. “I’m with the Internal Revenue Service.”
What helped the Lakers win the Finals? Kobe's Passing!
if you need help you will need trash cause you the trash
After getting in the White House, D.Trump gets a letter.... ... from the Iranian president. He opens it and to his surprise there is a paper with a weird looking code on it:
370HSSV 0773H
All confused, Trump contacts the FBI and forwards the letter to them in hope they can figure out the meaning, but they weren't able to. Trump gets angry and sends the letter to both the CIA and NSA, and they also fail to figure out the meaning of the letter.
One of the agents suggest Trump to ask for MI6's help, so he does and few minutes after a British agent sends a fax to his secretary: Tell your president he was holding the letter upside down.
I found the best Gofundme https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-get-the-time-machine.
Put Hellen Keller in Gorge Floyd’s position. How is she cry out for help would she just moan or would she try to do sign language?
Freddy: Im coming for u >:)
Me:god no help
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
You should wear binoculars when calculating. It helps divide.
Why is my anus burning? Cause I sat on an open lighter oh god help
um I need help how should I deal with depression?
joke: I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself
Germany does backflip america What is happining France want a bagute?USSR Help
When you have to fight an emo kid but he brings his friends so you gotta fight the suicide squad. But you gotta get da bois to help you
His name is "Daddy" HELP!
Hay can you help me to her on no that is gross I ment my car
I'd make a 9/11 joke, but it wouldn't fly anymore. And if I tried it would probably crash and burn. It just wouldn't help my comedy career take off.
One reason I like to tell riddles is because they help with critical thinking skills.
