I can count the number of times I’ve been to Chernobyl on one hand. – It’s seven.

Today in math class we had to do an activity where we had to flip coins. The teacher said that we had to flip some coins, remove all of the heads, count them, and put the rest of the coins back in the cup and repeat until we had no coins left. I’m not sure what we were supposed to get out of that activity, but I got 15 dead bodies.

10 Fun Facts

1. You can’t wash your eyes with soap.
2. You can’t count your hair.
3. You can’t breath through your nose with your tongue out.
4. You just tried number 3.
5. When you did number 3, you realized it’s possible, only you look like a dog.
6. You’re smiling right now because you were fooled.
7. You skipped number 5.
8. You just checked to see if there is a number 5.
9. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

A guy goes into his attic to clean it out and finds an old oil lamp. He thinks he could sell it instead of throwing it away, so he starts to rub it and out pops this genie. The genie says to him " Thank you for awakening me, I can grant you three wishes as a token of my gratitude." The guy wishes for a billion dollars, the genie grants it. The guy then asks for a huge mansion with 2 Lamborghinis and 2 Ferraris, the genie grants it. The genie says “This is your last wish so really make this one count.” The guys says “Well I’ve always wanted to drive out to hawaiian islands, because airplanes scare me to death, so I would want a highway that could stretch from here all the way to the islands.” The Genie says “That is asking for quite a lot and I’m not sure if I can pull that off, Is there anything else you’d want?” The guy says "Well I’ve been married and divorced three times, and I just can’t understand what I’ve been doing wrong. I’ve given my ex-wives all the love and care that I could but in the end it was never enough. I would want to have the ability to understand women. The genie thinks for a few moments and says “Do you want a three or four lane highway?”

Chuck Norris counted to infinity TWICE

How can you tell if you have a high sperm count?

When your girlfriend has to chew before she swallows.

Bill Gates teaches a kindergarten class to count to ten. “1, 2, 3, 3.1, 95, 98, ME, 2000, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 10.”

How do you count cows? – With a cowculator.

There was a mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three. 1-2-… and he left without a trace.

Why do shepherds never learn to count?

Because if they did they would always be falling asleep.

How do u count cows with a cowculater

I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he’d had. He started counting but fell asleep.

How long does it take for 5 babies to die in the microwave?

I don’t know, I can’t count while I masturbate…

Why was Hitler bad at math?

He could only count to nein.

I’ve got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three he said uno dos and disappeared without a tres

Incest is wincest (That was above) Fun for the whole family! Next of kin, count me in!

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, “uno, dos…” poof … He disappeared without a tres. XD

A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ‘uno, dos…’ and poof. He disappears without a tres."

Trust your calculator. It’s something to count on.