Count Jokes

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the abcs and the other count to 10. Teacher: you can kill 2 birds with1 stone. Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head. Johnny at school: you can kill a bird and give a man a concusssion.

I find it difficult to count to ten in French: un, deux, trois, quatre, cinq, six, sept. I can't say the next one because I have a huit allergy.

Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alright,” says the cop, “then you’re going to have to take a blood test.” “Can’t do that either,” Jim responds, “I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won’t stop bleeding, and I could bleed to death.” “Ok,” the cop answers “then I will need a urine sample.” “Sorry,” says Jim “I also have diabetes, that could push my sugar count really low.” “Fine, so just come on out, and walk a straight line for me.” “Can’t do that either” responds Jim. “Why not?” Demanded the exasperated cop. “Well, because I’m drunk!”


10 Fun Facts 1. You can't wash your eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried number 3. 6. When you did number 3, you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped number 5. 9. You just checked to see if there is a number 5. 10. Share this with your friends to have some fun too :-)

There are three types of people in the world, those who can count and those who can't.

A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres. XD

A Mexican magician said he would disappear on the count of three he said uno dos and disappeared without a tres

There was a mexican magician. He was going to disappear on the count of three. 1-2-..... and he left without a trace.


A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, 'uno, dos...' and poof. He disappears without a tres."