When someone calls you, say this: "Hi, welcome to Dave’s Orphanage. You make them, we take them. How may I help you?"
All my jokes are cys for help
INCLUDING THIS ONE
I’m a family doctor and I wish I could help but... you’re an orphan
Two kids were beating up a kid in an ally, so I stepped into help. He didn’t stand a chance against the three of us.
What is the worst motivational thing to say to a suicidal person?
If at first you don’t succeed, try again and again until you succeed.
Remember if you are suffering from paronia ...
You are not alone
Knock knock
Who's there
Insomnia
You'll fit right in along with Depression and anxiety, you can help keep me awake at night because Depression is struggling with that... Well now I can 't cry myself to sleep anymore...
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was emotionally distressed after a break up and wanted to find some help at his friends pen, in the end he was run over by a car, marking a sad end to what might have been a good chickens life
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again
There were once three brothers, Shit, Shut up and Manners. One day Shit got hit by a car. Shut up went to find help at the local police station whilst Manners tried to help Shit. When Shut up got to the police station he says "my brother has just been hit by a car." The policeman replied with "OK then first I need to know your name." "Shut up" "No, I need to know your name." "Shut up." "Excuse me but where are your manners." "Round the corner picking up shit."
The suicide hotline didn't even give me advice on how to kill myself. Not helpful at all
When I saw a girl sitting on the ground crying
When I asked her where her parents were, she cried louder
That’s why I like to volunteer in an orphanage
Nike isn't helpful for suicidal people. You can't tell them to Just Do It
In my spare time I help blind children. -- I mean the verb, not the adjective.
I called the rape advice line last night turns out its just for victims
My depressed friend said he wanted to jump off of a bridge but he didn’t wanna commit suicide. I told him if yhu jump and yell parkour, it’ll just be a failed stunt
You got a dig bick.
You that read wrong.
You read that wrong too.
Maybe you that read wrong as well.
You just went and back checked.
You reread of all that.
You have a pet wussy.
You that read wrong...
You need mental help.
like this if you have ever been abused
My friend and I were walking down the street and we saw this one disabled kid getting bullied by 3 other kids. Urgently, we sprinted over to help.
He had no chance against the 5 of us.
A depressed kid was stuck on a tree, and a man saw the kid
Man: Hang in there! Im gonna get some help!
Two minutes later, the kid literally did what the guy said
RIP Daniel Kyre from Cyndago (July 6, 1994-September 18, 2015)
Daniel commited suicide five years ago today......
