Hearing jokes

Did you hear about the mad who got his whole left side cut off? He's all right now.

Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?

He got a pat on the head.

A boy walks in on his parents having sex. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the boy screams at his father, and runs out of the room.

Soon, the parents hear screams coming from the father's mother's room. They both go running. They see the little boy pumping into his grandmother like anything. "What are you doing to my mother?!" the father screams. "It's not so easy when it's your mother is it?" says the boy.

Did you hear about the guy who got electrocuted?

It was quite a shocker.

Did you hear about Paul Walker's rap?

Wrapped around that tree.

Did you hear about the restaurant they're putting on the moon?

Good food, but no atmosphere.

Student: Hey! Did you hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?

Teacher: No?

Student: All I can say about it is, "Well, well, well."

Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a soda can?

He was lucky it was a soft drink!

Did you hear about how that deaf man got a ticket?

It's ok, he didn't either!

Don’t have phone sex without protection, you might get hearing aids!

You wanna hear a joke? You.

Did you hear that Stephen Hawking wrote a new book? It's called "Around The House in Eighty Days."

Did you hear about the fortune telling dwarf that escaped from prison?

Reports say there's a small medium at large!

Did you hear about the cannibal who passed a politician in the jungle yesterday?

I hear it hurt like hell.

Wanna hear a joke?

Your face.

Did you hear about the ninja pedophile? No one saw him coming.

Wanna hear a terrible joke?

Paper

Pretty tear-able, huh?

Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"

Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"

Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."

Did you hear on the news that a midget psychic broke out of jail?

There is a small medium at large.

Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit