Flash jokes
The colors red, white, and blue are the colors of freedom. Until they are flashing behind you.
Your mama so fat the flash died halfway running around her.
How do you start a rave? Throw a flash bang into an epileptic children's ward.
Jeff asks, "Did you hear about the guy they call the flash?"
Bob responds, "No, I haven't. Do they call him that because he runs fast?"
Jeff replies, "Nah, they call him that because he doesn't wear pants."
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Why does Ezra Miller’s Flash run in a straight line in The Flash movie? Bro ain’t straight.
Two nuns were sitting on a bench. A flasher flashed them, and one of the nuns had a stroke... but the other one was too far away :)
Why does the Flash eat ostriches? Because he likes fast food.
Superman and Flash were in the living room pounding back a few beers. Flash says to Superman, "I bet you can fly into Wonder Woman's bedroom and get the best pussy of your life." So he does it. When he goes back to Flash, Superman says, "Man, that was great, but my ass kinda burns."
Wanna hear a joke about the Flash?
"Never mind, it's too fast."
Yo mama so fat, it took the Flash 40 years to run around her.
How do you make epileptic kids dance?
Throw a flash bang in their room.
Why did only blonds show up at Saturday's party during the Corona crisis?
Because their computers flashed, "Virus blocked!"
Today we had the best adventure ever! We started playing in the yard and doing ramps in a party van!
It all started when Timmy and I were playing in the yard and a white rusty van drove up to our yard. A nice man told us to get in. We said we would love to go, but our mommies wouldn't want us to go. The man said your mommies told me it was OK to come.
We hopped in the back and sped away super fast! The man gave us some candy, but Timmy and I were not hungry, so we didn't eat it. We saved it for later. After a while, I was wondering where we were going. I was about to ask the man, but then there was a whooping sound and some flashing blue lights! "Hey they want to party with us!" Timmy yelled over the whooping. "Party van!" I yelled.
Timmy and I started dancing and whooping and the van began driving faster, doing crazy race car stunts, and jumps! Then we noticed the lights and whooping were coming from some cars that were following us. The cars were black and white and said "P O L I C E” on the side.
We started to wave to them, but then the van did a HUGE jump and we flew out of the back of the van to the side of the road into some dirt, but it didn't really hurt that much. The van drove off without us, and I was really sad. Then Timmy told me the dirt was perfect for making mud pies. I was happy again. We played in the dirt awhile, until some people dressed like firefighters found us and brought us home. And then you asked me what happened. "Isn’t that right mommy?"
Sometimes I just want to toss a flash bang into a room full of epileptic kids.
How did the retard win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
What is an epileptic's least favorite superhero? The Flash.
What do a priest and Christmas tree lights have in common?
They can both flash.
How did the dude with epilepsy win the break dancing competition?
He saw flashing lights.
In the new Justice League movie, Flash can break glass by touching it, why is that?
Because Flash is not supported on Windows.