Hearing jokes
Did you hear about the gays that had a baby? It was a little shit
Want to hear a joke?
Your face.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
Wanna hear a joke?
My life.
Did you hear about the guy who got a tattoo of an octopus?
He got inked up.
Why can't humans hear a dog whistle? -- Because dogs can't whistle.
Did you hear about the man who was accidentally buried alive? -- It was a grave mistake.
What is the most sensitive part of a man's anatomy while he's masturbating?
His ears.
Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
Sheep can hear unzipping trousers from a distance of 100 yards.
What STD can you get from phone sex?
Hearing AIDS.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Did you hear that Daft Punk came out with a cook book?
It's called "One More Thyme."
Did you hear about the Mexican train hijacker?
They say he had locomotives.
What are the three worst words to hear while you are having sex?
Honey, I'm home!
"What do we want?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
"When do we want them?"
"HEARING AIDS!"
What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?
You can't hear an enzyme.