Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak

what is a cows favorite move?-- the sound of moooosic

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

When you send nudes to your roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone…

Hey God what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire

sounds like a match made in heaven

There are some sounds that everyone loves…

• Shoes on gravel
• Crackling of fire
• The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you
• Cats purring

The judge asked me "How does 5 to 10 years sound?" I said “Sexy.”

When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.

But joke time…

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

What was Steven Hawking’s last words?

The windows xp log out sound

It’s funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can’t do any of those things

Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said “ That was the sound of the north wind. The next day his teacher asked the class “ What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room? Unnecassary.

What happens when Stephen hawking dies? The windows shutdown sound plays.

Y don’t they let have Stephen Hawkings have other electronics around him ? Because he will sound staticky

What’s brown and sounds like a bell? Dung.

what does a peeing pterodactyl sound like

nothing the pee is silent

Secretly, I’m a woman catfishing gay men on Grindr. When a notification from the app went off, my son told me, “I’ve heard that sound, daddy has that game too!”

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave