Sound Jokes

Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.

The judge asked me, "How does 5 to 10 years sound?"

I said, "Sexy."

When you send nudes to your Roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone...

Hey God, what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire.

Sounds like a match made in heaven.

Being gay sounds like a pain in the ass.

Little Johnny walked into the bathroom while his dad was taking a dump. As soon as Little Johnny walked in, his dad let out a big FART! Little Johnny said, “WHAT WAS THAT?” His dad said, “That was the sound of the north wind.” The next day his teacher asked the class, “What’s the direction of the north wind?” Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher called on him and he said, “TEACH IT’S MY DADDY’S BOOTY!”

What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?

Unnecessary.

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

What does a bouncy airplane sound like?

Boeing Boeing Boeing...

What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung.

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave.

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping. The boy asks, "What is that man doing?" The mom says, "Making pizza," trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog fucking another dog and he asks the same thing. She says, "Making extra cheese." When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says, "Ordering the pizza."

Later that day, the mother says to the father, "I think I want to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, don't know why that sounds good."

So that night, the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs, "Wanna order some pizza!?"

The mother replied, "DON'T WORRY I'M MAKING SOME!"

The son's voice followed, "I'M ADDING EXTRA CHEESE!"

Why don’t they let Stephen Hawking have other electronics around him? Because he will sound staticky.

It's funny how Stephen Hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking, but he can't do any of those things.

One dark stormy night when I was 8 years old, I woke up in the middle of the night busting to pee. Half asleep, I walked down the stairs and toward the bathroom and heard a strange whirring sound that sounded like a ghost. When I opened the door, I felt a strange cool breeze and the light came on automatically, and the ghostly sound stopped. Terrified, I did what I had to and went back to bed.

The next 3 nights, the same thing happened, and finally, I decided I had to tell my mom no matter how hard to believe it sounded. The next night I woke up, I went into my parents' room and woke my mom up and said, "You have to come with me and see this, it's really important." Half asleep, she murmured, "Oh, what is it? Can't it wait until the morning?" I pleaded, "No, you have to come see, our bathroom is haunted by a ghost. When I go in the middle of the night, I can hear a ghost sound. Then when I open the door, I feel the cold as it swoops through me, and the light comes on automatically." She yawned and said, "Oh, so that's who's been peeing in the refrigerator."

There are some sounds that everyone loves... - Shoes on gravel. - Crackling of fire. - The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you. - Cats purring.

What were Stephen Hawking's last words?

The Windows XP log out sound.

How do Chinese people name their children?

They throw pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, "Ching Chong Chang."