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There are some sounds that everyone loves…

  • Shoes on gravel
  • Crackling of fire
  • The snapping necks of those who think they can disrespect you
  • Cats purring

What was Steven Hawking’s last words?

The windows xp log out sound

When you send nudes to your roblox gf and your uncle’s phone sounds with a text tone…

My girlfriend accused me of cheating. I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

It’s funny how Stephen hawking sounds like Stephen walking or Stephen talking but he can’t do any of those things

What happens when Stephen hawking dies? The windows shutdown sound plays.

What sound does a 747 make when it bounces?

Boeing boeing boeing.

What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room? Unnecassary.

The reason steven sounds like a computer cuz he ate his usb

What do you call a friendly noise? A sound wave

When you are suicidal comedic relief sometimes helps. These jokes sometimes help you realize how many more people feel the way you do and how ridiculous it sounds sometimes.

But joke time…

I’m giving in my two week resignation to life… it’s not you … it’s me!!!

A mom and her son are taking a walk when they pass a homeless man fapping, the boy asks “what is that man doing?”. The mom says “Making pizza” trying to turn him away.

The son sees a dog f...ing another dog and he asks the same thing. She says “Making extra cheese”. When they pass a window and see a couple doing it, he asks the same thing. She says “Ordering the pizza”.

Later that day the mother says to the father “I think I want some to order some pizza with extra cheese tonight, dont know why that sounds good”.

So that night the husband who was watching tv yelled up the stairs “wanna order some pizza !?”

The mother replied “DONT WORRY IM MAKING SOME”

the sons voice followed " IM ADDING EXTRA CHEESE"

People with down syndrome have a specific skill only they have, they can give a blow job and talk to you while sounding exactly the same.

They toss and turn to the sound of Thunder, but I got watermelon to sooth my slumber!

Y don’t they let have Stephen Hawkings have other electronics around him ? Because he will sound staticky

Hey God what are you making?

Just a wooden stick that lights on fire

sounds like a match made in heaven

I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!

Q. What sound does a sleeping T-Rex make?

A. A dino-snore.

How do chinese people name there children? They thro pots and pans down the stairs and listen for the sounds, Ching Chong Chang.

So Jesus has been nailed to the cross. On the first day, he starts to moan, “Peter, Peter”.

Well, Peter hears Jesus moaning and feels it is important, so begins to go up the hill. On his way, he is met by some Roman soldiers and they proceed to beat his ass back down the hill.

On the second day, Peter hears Jesus moaning again, “Peter, Peter”.

Peter thinks to himself, this is important. He heads up the hill, fights past the first line, but gets a beatdown by the second group and back down the hill he goes.

On the third day, Peter is woken up by Jesus sounding very weak, but calling out, “Peter, Peter”.

Peter feels that whatever it is that Jesus needs him for, must be very important. Peter heads up the hill, he is on a mission. He manages to fight his way thru three sets of Roman guards and make his way to the cross Jesus has been nailed to for three days. He looks up to Jesus, and says “Jesus, I have heard your calls, what is so important”?

Jesus- “Peter, I can see your house from here”.