Super Market jokes

It's embarrassing when there is no toilet paper and you need to go and get one with your pants down. Luckily, the supermarket is just around the corner.

I saw a disabled person in the super market. They were at the vegetable aisle.

I went to the super market one day and I saw a Caesar salad for 69 dollars. Next minute someone comes up to me and says, "Caesar deez nutz!"

When me and my friend went to the market, my friend tried to scan my arm, and I asked her what she was doing. She answered, "Oh, I had to buy you so I don't steal you."

I know I'm valuable, I come with a barcode ;)

People sometimes ask me why I cut myself. I usually answer that at least I can scan my worth at the supermarket.

If I went to Walmart, I would be able to scan my own wrists because they're barcodes too.

Me: tries to scan self at Walmart. I can't scan myself, wanna know why?

Alfred: Why?

Me: because I'm worthless... =)