Health jokes
What did one poop say to the other poop? What's the matter? You look flushed!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
Where did the eye doctor keep all his kittens? On Cat-A-Racks!
Teacher: Don’t run into the road!
Down syndrome: Weeeeee!
Teacher: Lol, now he’s a mashed potato.
I saw a dad shave his daughter's head because she made fun of a woman with cancer.
Good thing she didn’t make fun of a pregnant woman 🤭
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
"Don't break a person's heart, they only have one."
"Yeah, break their bones instead... they have over 200 of those :)"
Roses are red, give me some limes, boy dies after masturbating 42 times.
"I'd rather go through the pain of childbirth again than let you drill in my mouth," the woman told her dentist.
He replied, "Well, please make up your mind so I can adjust my chair."
What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?
You fix both with a coat hanger.
What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?
A grape chilli bean.
What do you call a person in a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
You know, I got attacked by a man with cheese and a bit of milk.
How dairy!
What do you call Greg in your class? Obese.
Yo momma is so fat, when she caught the flesh-eating bacteria, it gave up!
If Stephen Hawking gets a heart attack, where do you go, the hospital or Curry's PC World?
What is the healthiest fruit?
An orange 🍊—It takes Vitamin See!
Roses are red, my blood is too, And I've been seeing it a lot more, since I've lost you.
The tent pole is up, The canvas is spread, The hell with breakfast, Come back to bed.
Take the tent pole down, Put the canvas away, The monkey had a hemorrhage, No circus today.
Q: Why did the fly go to the hospital?
A: For the doctor to make it get "butter!"