Health jokes

What do you call a girl skeleton dancing?

A bone-étit.

I’ve got a joke about Alzheimers.

Um.

Oh no. I can’t actually remember it.

What do kids with cancer and cancer jokes have in common?

They never get old.

Hot shingles in your neighborhood wanting to get nailed.

This isn't a joke; I just want to spread awareness of anatidaephobia.

What’s positive in Africa?

HIV/AIDS.

Woman: Doctor, doctor, I've been raped.

Doctor: Sex is good for you!

Today I went to the doctor for a test, and he said I have 10 months to live.

So later that day I stabbed him to death, and the judge sentenced me for 15 years in prison. Problem solved!

Boobs are like friends: you have big ones, small ones, real ones, fake ones, but they all get taken out by cancer.

A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.

I feel sad because I went to an old man in a wheelchair while he was sitting next to a fire, and I screamed, "Hot Wheels!" 🤣

How do you make a tissue dance?

Put a lil' boogie in it ;)

What's the most expensive haircut?

Chemotherapy.

Q: What do you say to a kid who threatens to beat you up?

A: We can always rearrange your liver 😏

What does one boob say to the other boob?

If we don’t get support, people will think we’re nuts.

What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?

Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.

What do you call an emo cancer kid?

Chemo.

I wish the doctor would prescribe me some medicine that's actually useful, like cyanide.

I'm sick of crying; tired of trying; yes, I'm still smiling; inside I'm dying.

What did the grandma say at the hospital when you pulled the tube?...................