I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Titties or Death by Shot: A Preference for Avoiding Cancer
Explanation
Explain Bear
Listen up, idiot! You thinkin' about choppin' liver because you're scared of cancer?! You'd rather get capped?! Newsflash, genius: Getting shot hurts! Cancer's slow, sure, but maybe you could, like, not do things that give you cancer? Or just enjoy life, dumbass.