Health jokes
What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Tell her to slow down and use lubricant.
What's the difference between milk and a cancer patient?
There's none, they both don't age well.
What do masturbation and brain damage have in common? After a few strokes, there’s no going back.
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
Lete know in the comments
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
If your corona test shows two lines, is that then positive or negative?
Your teeth are so yellow, you spit butter!
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
I got kicked out of the hospital.
Apparently, the sign "Stroke patients here" meant something totally different.
Fat person: "Hey, what's up?"
Friend: "Your blood pressure!"
Has Covid-19 forced you to wear glasses and a mask at the same time?
You may be entitled to condensation.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
I would go suck some titties, but I’d rather die from being shot than cancer.
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!