Health jokes
What is the difference between a wheelchair and a walker?
This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.
"Having too much sex can result in memory loss."
I read that on page 37, paragraph five of the New England Medical Journal on September 15th, 2014, at 10:37 AM.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
Memes
I had amnesia once... maybe twice.
What did the man say when he swallowed a clock and tried to go to the bathroom?
WATCH OUT!!!
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra and Donald Trump?
A: Erection fraud. (Just a joke.)
Man: *steals drink*
Boy: bro😭😭
Man: Why are u crying over a drink?
Boy: That had drugs.
Man: ....
A police officer came up to me and said, "Just why, why would you bring the epileptic children to a laser tag fight?"
Doctor: I’m sorry, I can’t see you today.
Orphan: Oh, how about tomorrow?
Doctor: No, I can’t ever see you.
Orphan: Why?
Doctor: Because I’m a family physician.
What do you call a cripple convention? A salad.
How did the fat person cross the road?
It rolled.
Technoblade should have drank milk. Would have gotten rid of all his status effects!
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
My friend said an apple a day keeps the orphan away. I said only if you throw it hard enough.
What do Viagra and Disneyland have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two-minute ride.
Why are Christmas trees banned in mental hospitals?
Because the ornaments wouldn't be the only things hanging.