Abstinence jokes

Why is sucking cock inside the confessional booth the only thing that a catholic priest doesn't have to give up for lent?

Because catholic priests don't have to be vegetarians during lent.

Why don't vegetarians moan during sex?

Because they don't want to admit that meat makes them happy.

There's only one reason our Education Minister is standing by this curriculum.

In her religion, you NEVER pull out.

When it's NNN but you have a peanut allergy: 🥳

"Don't have sex" - Jake.

I cannot moderate myself at all. It's either I don't take my meds, or I take the entire bottle. Decisions, decisions...

Heterosexual sodomy is like religion. If you were forced to accept it when you were younger, you probably would not like it when you become an adult.

Circumcision is like getting your dick sucked by a female. If you did not like it when you were a teenager, you probably will not like it when you become an adult.

If I were addicted to masturbation, and then became addicted to sex, would it be safe to say that my addiction got out of hand?

Condoms? HA! Those are for pussies!