Floss jokes

Dentist: Open up, sir.

Me: So... I hate my life, my family, my sisters, my dog, my cat, and I tried to take a bath with my toaster, but my dog took it. That's why I hate my dog. And my cat died trying to chew my rope; it choked... Yea.

Dentist: I... meant your mouth... so I can clean your teeth.

Me: :O Ohhhh, my bad.

Dentist: Do you need help??

Me: Yep.

Dentist: ...

Me: ....

Why do tampons have strings? So you can floss your teeth when you’re done eating.

What do you call an Indian with pink hair?

Ghandi floss.

Yo mama is so skinny, she uses floss as toilet paper.

I'm so skinny, I could use floss as a noose.

A woman walks into a dentist's office, sits on the counter, and spreads her legs.

The dentist says, "I think you have the wrong idea with that." The woman replies, "Last week you gave my husband his false teeth; now you can get them out."

How do you blindfold an Asian?

You use dental floss.

Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!

Why do Fortnite players have such good teeth?

Because they like to floss.

A Japanese man goes to the dentist. After being there for a while, the dentist asks, "How often do you floss your teeth?"

The Jap said, "After every meal." When they finish up, the dentist turns to him and says, "You need to floss your eyes more. I can still see them."

You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.

How do mice floss their teeth? With string cheese.

You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.

Q: How do you cover a Chinese's eyes?

A: Use dental floss.

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because some kid was flossing!

What do lesbians do while having their period?

They finger paint.

"F" stand for family, that's why "orphan" is spelled with "ph."

A black lady goes inside the drug store and asks the pharmacist, "Do you carry tampons?" Then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "Do you want the mini pads or the maxi pads?"

And then the black lady asks the pharmacist, "What is the difference?"

And then the pharmacist asks the black lady, "What is your flow like?"

And then the black lady tells the pharmacist, "Linoleum."

You know Bofa? Bofa deez nuts.

What does the "f" stand for in orphan?

Family.