Health jokes

What is a pooper man called? A dentist.

Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?

'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.

Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!

What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?

Her miscarriage.

I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.

It's still depression, by the way.

Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.

A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"

I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.

Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.

Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”

Man: “Am I dying?”

Doctor: “No, your wife is.”

Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!

Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.

Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Vaseline

AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!

"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."

You know who else has dementia?

Comments for answer.

Doctor: Congratulations!!!

Woman: Was it a successful delivery?

Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!

What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.