Health jokes
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
I still to this day remember my grandpa's last words.
"I'M ALLERGIC TO FUCKING CATS!"
I'm sorry for your loss.
It is going tibia okay.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
Arden is so fat!
Q: What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
A: The wheelchair.
What do you call a white man that’s blind?
Asian eyes.
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
What did the mongol say to his dog?
Down syndrome!
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.