Health jokes
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
What's the difference between MetaCareForAll and the resurrection of our lord and savior Jesus Christ?
One of them is an unrealistic fantasy that can never come true because it wouldn't work. The other one is the resurrection our lord and savior Jesus Christ.
What is the best way to get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
What do people that can only use half their face and wankers have in common?
They have both had a few strokes.
One day, Little Johnny went to his grandma's house, and she asks, "Do you like nuts?"
Little Johnny says, "Yes, I like nuts."
His grandma says, "Okay then, grab them out of the cabinet." So Little Johnny went and grabbed them, and he was sad after he grabbed them. His grandma then says, "What's wrong?"
Little Johnny says, "I thought they were real nuts," and his grandma fainted.
Scientists are trying to find a cure for anorexics. It should be a piece of cake!
What’s the best way to get gum out of hair?
Cancer.
Q: What is found deep inside of us, and the more we express our love for each other the more it spreads throughout the world?
A: Covid.
How do you tell if someone is depressed?
The brains on the wall.
My parents were concerned when I said I like to bleed, but at least I cut my risk of cancer and stroke in half.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say as clients leave?
Thanks for coming!
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
My doctor told me, "Time heals wounds."
So I stabbed him.
Now we wait...
Quit making those progeria jokes. They get old very quickly.
Welcome to Antonio’s pizza and abortion, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a computer? Ctrl+Alt+Delete.
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...