Health jokes
Q. What do you call a hooker in a vegetative state? A. A thot incapable of thought.
Q: What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
A: The wheelchair.
Do you remember what Bruce Willis' last movies were?
Neither does he.
Why do people consume "Laxatives"?
Answer: So that they can take a "Shit", STUPID!
What did the mongol say to his dog?
Down syndrome!
If you swallow gum, it will make your poop bouncy.
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
How do you help a rape victim on a diet lose 7 pounds?
Kill her afterwards.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
😷 👕 👖 Stay safe in Quarantine.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
If you have a broken bone, do you have broken skin?
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."
AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!