Health jokes
Do not ever make fun of people who look like they have no necks. They are fully protected from vampires.
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
A butt saw the toilet and said, "Shit, I'm sick!"
I love telling good news to my patients, like they survived the crash but their family died.
Vaseline
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
AUGH, oh sorry, I just got a third ball because of girls hitting my balls with a handball!
Doctor: Congratulations!!!
Woman: Was it a successful delivery?
Doctor: No, it’s DiGiorno!
What's worse than having a comedian as president? Having a president that has dementia.
What time is it when you walk walk? Time to trip and fall!
What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
How much do the bones in your body weigh?
A skele-ton!
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Why are you sitting down to pee? I don't have a good back and can't lift something big.
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
What do you call a cow on steroids? A bull-y.
It's still depression, by the way.
I cut my dick. It is all right now, and half the size but makes for excellent breakfast.
"Cancer gives you weed. It’s not healthy."