Health jokes
Doctor: “You’ll be at peace soon.”
Man: “Am I dying?”
Doctor: “No, your wife is.”
Yo mama so vegetarian that she loves the Vegan Teacher!
Vaseline
You're so fat you sunk Captain Crunch's ship.
You're so fat your blood type is Nutella.
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Memes
Comment if you're not vaccinated and don't plan to be!
What did the tissue wear?
A shoe.
Know why they call gonorrhea gonorrhea?
'Cause once you have it, everyone is gone.
Pooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
What is a pooper man called? A dentist.
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!
My grandpa died to ligma.
Ligma balls lol.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? Because it wasn't "peeling" well!
Yo mama went to Safeway to be safe.
What time do Chinese people go to the dentist?
Tooth hurty (2:30).
Fat.
How to learn your Vitamins:
A = Art.
B = Bouncy Balls.
C = Cookies.
D = Da Sun.
You'll be smarter than a doctor next time you visit!
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.