Health jokes
Fat bully. That was just the starter, now do you want the main course?
Me: I don't think I want that because you already ate it.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?
🎉🎇🎊🎆🎈
What do you call a crappy circumcision?
A rip-off.
What do you call a kid having a seizure on a dance floor? An improvement.
Why was the tamale in the hospital? Because he was a "tamalito."
When you breathe.
Yo mama so fat that when he was talking to a man, her bowels fell out.
Did you hear they just took Biden to the hospital?
No, what happened?
He couldn’t stop pootin!
Your mama so fat when she sits on the toilet it sings, "ABC, 123, get your fat ass off of me!"
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
A woman goes into labor with her child. The doctor says that they have invented a new device to transfer the pain of childbirth to the father. He asks if it is ok to use the new device. The couple agrees, and so he turns the pain to the father to 10%. The man feels nothing.
They then bump it up to 20%. He still feels nothing, then his friend calls and he is groaning. He said he was having cramps, so the husband tells the doctor, "Doc, turn it up to 40%!" So he does, and his friend throws up, so he said, "Doc, turn it up to 100%!" and his friend dies.
Guy 1: What's your favorite vegetable?
Guy 2: Stephen Hawking.
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
I stole my friend's amnesia medication the other day, he was pretty pissed.
But I reminded him of the age-old mantra: "Forgive and forget!"
What do you call a special needs kid with a motorcycle?
Motor disease.
An Autistic chef made hamburgers out of donkey meat.
He called them: “ASPERGER’S”
Your mamma is so dumb, she went to the dentist to get Bluetooth.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Anong tawag sa cake na may ubo?
Edi cough cake! NYHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAKAJAHA LT TLGA BOSIT
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.