Health jokes
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne doesn't cum on a kid's face 'til they're 13 or 14.
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
Memes
What do you call a Black person having a seizure?
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
When your girlfriend has been vomiting for 2 weeks and you find out she’s not pregnant.
Bf-*yes I knew it was a prank*
She has cancer.
Want one way to get a free haircut?
Call the cancer hotline.
So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!
Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.
Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?
Technoblade: Broke.
Why does Africa have no pharmacies? Because you can't have medicine on an empty stomach.
You're so skinny you use floss to wipe your butt.
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?
He got gangryeen.
Gangrene+green+angry
Nancy be like, "Don't do drugs, do cock!"
Yo mama so gay, she almost passed away.
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.