Health jokes
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
Memes
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
I put glue in a man :)
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
How can a man make the world safer?
By having the chop.
I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... He died of hearing aids.
What do you call it when a rapper has a cold?
A sniff beat.
Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?
Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.