Health jokes

Why did the serial killer let the guy in a wheelchair go? Because the guy didn’t really have any body for the serial killer to stab.

So I gave a disabled kid hot wheels. I mean cars, no I gave him literal hot wheels!

Technoblade: It is high vitamin B.

Quackiity: What does vitamin B stand for?

Technoblade: Broke.

What is a part of a vegetable you can't eat?

The wheelchair.

What happens when someone shoots the Hulk?

He got gangryeen.

Gangrene+green+angry

Doctor: Tomorrow is like John Cena, you won’t see it.

Bestie Hannah heard that bestie Iz had a migraine! What did she do? She said, "My grains don’t hurt that much, at least not when the animals eat them!"

You're so fat you can't see your penis when you piss.

Hello, welcome to Joe’s Pizzeria and Abortion Clinic, where yesterday’s loss is today’s sauce! How may I help you today?

Heyyy, in the last six months, [I had] 4 suicide attempts, broke up with 3 girls, and my mom went on drugs.

What do you call a group of depressed people?

Sue-icide squad.

Why did the Mexican take the tamale to the hospital?

Tamlito.

I'm a recovering cake addict.

Spppppp.

If I was going to the doctor, he asked me to turn around, and he stuck a nettle in my ass.

What does a girl get after having sex with Batman?

Defective rabies.

Did you hear that Joe contracted Sugondese Ligma on his trip to Suggon, and now he won’t be able to make it to Saw Con?

Which is more disabling, autism, ADHD, or Down syndrome?

How can a man make the world safer?

By having the chop.

I put glue in a man :)