Health jokes
Why do mountains go to sleep a lot?
Because they are high.
There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?
(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)
Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.
What do you call a Black person having a seizure?
My wife said she wanted to leave me. She said it’s because of the abuse, but really, she’s the one abusing herself by drinking alcohol and got poisoning the next day. This shows almost half of the woman’s population is weak both physically and mentally.
Patient: Sorry I'm so nervous, this is my first surgery.
Doctor: Oh, don't worry, mine too!
Memes
What do you call an autistic kid if he was short?
A short tistic.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because the chicken had corona.
I go to the shop and buy 2 pints of kimo.
Q. What's the difference between fucking a coma patient and fucking a cabbage?
A. You have to cut a hole in the cabbage.
When Stephen Hawking is ill 🤮, do you take him to Curry's PC World or the doctors? 😂😂😂😂
Yo mama so hairy, when the baby came out, the baby died because of carpet burning!
What do you play Fallout 4 with low health?
You Fallout.
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
Where do you take Stephen Hawking: to the hospital, or PC World?
You know you trip and fall. Here is the funny joke: Did you have a nice trip?
A blonde went to an HIV test. When she came back, she said, “The doctors say that I’m all positive!”
One day a skeleton never worked. Everyone called him lazybones.
I put glue in a man :)
Stroke victims are my heroes.
My favorite is Louis C.K.
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?