Health jokes
We recently found out my grandpa is addicted to Viagra.
No one is taking it harder than grandpa.
Yo momma so skinny, she wipes with floss!
Nie cut G.
Kid: I have the corona virus!
Nurse: Here is an ice pack.
"Float like a butternut, sting like a bee."
Don’t worry if you have a stroke.
You’ll be all right.
Yo mama so fat, when she goes on a diet, it ends world hunger.
A skeleton walks into a bar and said it takes "backbone" to mess with me, and if you try to insult me, I have thick skin.
What type of doctor is Doctor Pepper?
A fizzician.
What is an old lady's favorite exercise?
Trying to get up from the soft couch.
What do you call a person with an "a" in their autism?
Your mama so ugly, when the baby came out of her, the baby didn't cry. The baby said, "What the hell is this shit?" and walked out of the hospital.
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
What do you call 1 normal kid and 2 retarded kids smoking weed?
Pot roast.
An autistic kid.
You are so fat you tried to eat the word "edible."
Why did Joe Biden go to the hospital? Because he couldn't stop Putin.
Cancer is like your dad. It only comes back when Blueface baby drops a new album.
Yes, I have gained weight. I have also gained more brains. Do you want some? You talk like you definitely need some more.
The patient says, "Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say."
The doctor says, "Next, please."