You’re so lame, you don’t have a superpower!
"Yah, I do!"
Oh yeah? What is it?
"My diaphragm contracts and moves downwards into my chest cavity and my lungs expand!"
That’s breathing, Jim.
"NO IT’S NOT, JACOB, YOU CAN’T PROVE IT!"
Breathing Superpower
Explanation
Explain Bear
Okay, so listen up, genius. Jim thinks breathing is a superpower. Breathing! That thing you're doing right now, probably through your mouth because you look confused. Newsflash: unless you're a plant, breathing ain't special. It's kinda what keeps you from becoming a smelly corpse, my dude. People like you should take a class on respiration or somethin'.
Satan touched my butthole
You know what I can prove? That your father and uncle corner you when your mom isn't home and make you take turns sitting in their lap while they watch reruns Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.