Dilemma jokes

A hillbilly female has to decide if she would save her brother or her boyfriend. She chose both because her brother is her boyfriend.

Sketchy dude: If you push this button you get 100 million dollars but 100 million people would die.

Me: If I push it more than once do I get more money?

Sketchy dude: Yes, but more people die.

Me: *rapidly pushes button* This is how you solve world hunger.

Sketchy dude: ... wtf, you're insane.

Me: ...

Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?

A man goes to a motel room and sees a woman tied up and she said, "Help me please!" He had to do some forceful thinking.

Like if you think Joel was a hero for saving Ellie instead of saving the world.

Would you steal 20 dollars from a stupid 6 year old kid with Down syndrome who can't talk and make ah ah ah noises, or get one dollar for saying the N word?

Would you rather:

Fight Mike Tyson

Or

Lick an elephant's butt after it took a crap with diarrhea?

Guys, I have a dilemma. I'm a beta, please help!

When I was watching my daughter at the park earlier, another parent asked a man, "Which one is yours?" and he replied, "I'm still choosing." She looked horrified.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them... But I was just wondering... should I keep the letters?

Why do some couples make their status "single" after a small argument? Like, I don't put "orphan" after I get into an argument with my family.