Health jokes
Why did the bike fall over?
It was too tired.
I was riding my bike down the road!
When a car started coming, I started running.
It put me in a crash with my elbow through my ass! ;)
Q: Why doesn't a skeleton mother drink water?
A: Because it gives her more work!
Q: What is the hardest part of a vegetable to swallow?
A: A wheelchair.
My mom said the only way to cure depression is to do what she does. She's dead.
Memes
kayla?
Yo mama so fat, she needs to go to the gym.
My friend has ligma...
Lick ma balls!
Q. What do rapists fear more than rabies?
A. Rape babies.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
What is the most expensive type of sex you will ever enjoy in your life? The type which will shorten your life by 5 to 10 years.
What do you call a cat with a live in doctor?
An anemic, shrivelled cat with desperate attached owners.
Yo mama's so fat, she even studied for the corona test.
If your butt hurts real bad, put some vapor rub and booty cream on it so it can heal back to normal.
Roses are red, My friend is choking. That stupid bitch shouldn't have eaten my muffin.
What do you call two Michael J. Fox's standing next to each other?
Parallel Parkinson's.
What do you call a clown that is allergic to strawberries?
...Ollie the clown!
What do an acting role and playing sports have in common?
If you break a leg, you get cast.
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.