Health jokes
I help suicidal people.
BTW verb not adjective.
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
Why can’t kids with cancer have anal sex?
Because they have cancer.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
Yo mama so fat that she should be worried for her health and go see a doctor.
Memes
Shitpost-master general
Someone was walking down the street and they saw some neat...
"Diarrhea cha cha cha, Diarrheal cha cha cha!"
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Steve!"
"Steve who?"
Steve cries, aware that his grandmother's Alzheimer's has reached a point where she can no longer remember him.
My dick itches.
My blind son got hit by a car when he was riding his new bike. He should have been paying attention.
My dad always used to beat me, but he never beat cancer.
Me and my cancer
Are like a game of Fortnite.
I’ll never win.
A man came running into a hospital saying, "Doctor, Doctor! I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor replied, "I know I amputated your arms!"
Was he under insurance claim?
I told my doctor I ate a bunch of bananas. It wasn’t a very a-peeling experience.
What did Goodlife Fitness say to LA Fitness? "I guess it's just not 'working out'!"
Canada has free health care, here is a link to some Canada Facts! https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada
I'M SOOOO SAD. (I have depression btw)
Your mom is so fat, she starts the alphabet with the letter "o" for obesity, hahaha!
"Ouch!"
"What's wrong?"
"I stepped on a screw."
"Are you ok?"
"I'm in ex-screw-ciating (excruciating) pain!"
Your mum is so fat she eats all day!