Health jokes
What can you catch, but not throw?
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Why can’t an orphan take medicine?
They need parental supervision.
What did Omnicron say to Delta?
"Same race, bud, different evolution."
"SIX FEET AWAY, OMNI! SIX FEET AWAY!"
Memes
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
Your mum is so fat, she eats every meal from KFC, Maccas, Hungry Jacks all at once!
Jamal had 75 candy bars. He ate 65. What does he have now?
Diabetes.
What is mad cow disease?
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
This isn't really a joke, but I HAVE PTSD, YAY! :)
Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".
What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?
Hair pull.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.