Health jokes
What is mad cow disease?
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
My willy was feeling itchy, so I decided to go to the doctor.
My doctor was foreign and spoke Spanish with an Argentinian accent. As I returned home, I noticed my willy was gone! Pessi stole my PENis thinking it was a Penalty just so he could statpad. SHAME ON YOU!
Why does Aaron have no friends? Because his spine is weird and he is fat.
I tried getting an abortion, but they said, "Sir, this is a pizzeria."
What do my wife and dinner have in common? They are both vegetables.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?
Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
What did the doc say to the skeleton? You're skele-a-ton.
I bought these trainers from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced it with, but I have been trippin' all day.
Why did the pony have to gargle? Maybe because he was feeling a little hoarse.
What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?
The wheelchair.
Roses are red, Violets are blue, Everything is black, I can't see, can you?