Health jokes
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
What is mad cow disease?
What’s the best part of stage four cancer?
A: There’s no stage five.
What happens when the Twin Towers breathe? They collapse like an orphan with stage 4 cystic fibrosis who lives in the streets of Africa.
Memes
Therapists are rapists in disguise, because "the rapist".
What’s a cancer girl's sex kink?
Hair pull.
What can you catch, but not throw?
You're so skinny, you probably wipe your ass with floss.
What is it that gay men can't get from having too much oral sex?
Erectile dysfunction.
Taco Bell makes you crappy.
Tooth 1: Hey, do you like my jokes?
Tooth 2: Yeah, but they're cracking me up.
Doctor: I’m so sorry, sir, but you only have a couple months left.
The sir: My children will be devastated.
Doctor: But I have a shot that can change that.
The sir: Whatever it takes.
*Suppressed gunshots*
The Queen: "I've had a few medical problems this year. I'm so old that my pussy is haunted!"
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
Hey there, wanna buy some chromosomes?
During Covid, lockdown went on for so long that even the agoraphobics got cabin fever.
Why'd the rubber go flying across the room?
Because it got pissed off!
Why didn't the teddy bear want to go to the gym?
Because he didn't want to get ripped.