Health jokes
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
When you pull out, but the baby's face turns blue.
Why did the bee go to the doctors?
Answer: Because he had hives.
What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
What are two things you could call a fart?
"Gas from the ass" or "Odor from the motor!"
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a lil' boogie in it ;)
What do you get if you cross a loaf of bread with a vagina?
A yeast infection.
Patient: "I'm starting to forget things."
Doctor: "Since when have you had this condition?"
Patient: "What condition?"
If I was God, my parents would be anesthetists.
Why is yo mama so fat? She follows rap boat's diet.
Boy: “My heart MELTS for you.”
Girl: “OMG, are you okay?!?!”
Boy: “Yeah, why?”
Girl: “Because if your heart is melting, then you are NOT okay.”
What did the nose say to the finger?
"Stop picking me!"
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
What do you call a washed vegetable? A disabled kid that needs a towel.
Why did the poop cross the street? Because it was trying to get in the toilet.
Why did the skeleton not go to prom?
Because he had no body to go with.
Stop joking with cancer.
- From a survivor :)
Hello, which do y'all think is more embarrassing to have, is it autism or Down syndrome?
"I need to go to the doctor!"
"Why?"
"It has a crack in it."
Why aren't Down's syndrome jokes funny?
Because the format of them is ugly.