Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn't last as long for fat people.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why doesn't Barbie ever get pregnant? Because Ken comes in a different box!
Children are like a box of Christmas decorations. I keep ‘em in my basement until it’s time to hang ‘em from a tree.
Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
How do you make a fruit punch? 🍎 You give it a pair of boxing gloves. 🥊
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
There is a lot of difference between a man and woman saying,
"I went through a whole box of Tissues watching that movie"
What do KFC and pussy have in common? Both are finger lickin' good and after you are done eating you have a box to put the bone in.
Why couldn't Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn't Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn't Sally pick up the box? (Friend: *Some weird guess*) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who's there?) Not Sally.
Q: How are Asians like a box of chocolates?
A: Either way they'll kill your dog
I saw a beautiful homeless girl and asked if I could take her out on a date. She politely accepted and enjoyed herself. Soon after I asked if I could take her home, she smiled and nodded her head. Her smile disappeared when she saw me running away with her cardboard box.
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. "What happened to your face?" I asked.
"I'm a Paralympian," he replied.
"Boxing?"
"No, ... hurdles."
Question: Why did the blonde get excited after finishing a puzzle in 5 months? Answer: The box said 3-5 years!
Roses are red, violets are blue, i'd rather be single then be with someone like you.
What is the biggest dissrespect to send a box of tea bags to africa
Why is a gun like a box of chocolates? If you pull one out in class, everyone wants to be your friend.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: super cauliflower, eggs but cheese was quite atrocious. (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
