I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes. The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked off with her cardboard box.
Claustrophobic people are more productive thinking out of the box.
Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking…she still hasn’t opened the box
Life is like a box of chocolates, mostly dissapointing
I met a guy in a wheelchair today. His face was battered and bruised. “What happened to your face?” I asked.
“I’m a Paralympian,” he replied.
“No, … hurdles.”
When the Lego box says 6-99 years but you eat it in 20 minutes.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
Yo mama so stupid, she stared at a juice box because it said concentrate
Why couldn’t Sally write with the pen? (Friend: Idk, why?) Because she had no arms. Why couldn’t Sally play Tennis? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Yes, she had no arms. Why did Sally fall off the swing? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) No, Joe pushed her. Why couldn’t Sally pick up the box? (Friend: Some weird guess) Because she had no arms. Why did sally drop her ice cream? (Friend: Because she had no arms?) Because she got hit by a bus. Knock Knock. (Friend: Who’s there?) Not Sally.
How do you make a fruit punch? 🍎 You give it a pair of boxing gloves. 🥊
A man needs to leave for lengthy a business trip, but his wife is saddened by this. She explains to him that if he isn’t home every night, there will be no way to satisfy herself if she feels horny. The man claims that she doesn’t need sex, because a dildo should work just fine. He quickly runs to the local gift shop and asks the cashier if the store carries anything really special. The cashier quietly pulls out an old box, and removes a wooden penis from inside. The cashier states that the dildo has been passed down in his family for generations, and was crafted by a witch deep within the Amazon jungle. The cashier sits up in his chair and shouts “Voodoo Dick, the door!” The wooden penis flies across the room, and begins to rapidly thrust itself in and out of the front door keyhole. “Voodoo Dick, the lamp!” The wooden penis flies up inside of the lamp on the cahsier’s desk, and once again, begins to thrust in and out. “Voodoo Dick, return to your box!” The wooden penis flies back into the box and the cashier closes the lid. The man chooses to buy the wooden penis, and just as he is about to leave, the cashier tells him a very important bit of information regarding the Voodoo Dick: “The cursed dildo can only be controlled through verbal commands, it is far too powerful to be moved by hand.” says the cashier. “You must never forget that!” The man nods and heads home. Later that day, the man explains to his wife how the sex toy works, and then leaves for his trip. A few days later, the wife becomes very horny, and opens up the box. She proceeds to shout “Voodoo Dick, my pussy!” The dildo zooms into her vagina, and pleasures her for roughly 6-8 hours. She soon begins to grow tired, and attempts to pull the dildo out of her. She pulls as hard as she can, but just can’t get it it. The wife panicks, and begins driving to the hospital with the wooden penis still inside of her vagina. A police officer pulls her over for speeding, and asks to see some identification. The wife exclaims “Help, help, there is a Voodoo Dick inside of my vagina and it won’t come out!” The officer raises an eyebrow in disbelief. “Voodoo Dick my ass, bitch.”
I asked a pretty, young homeless woman if I could take her home. She smiled at me and said yes.
The look on her face soon changed, however, when I walked away with her cardboard box.
Mary Poppins went to a restaurant and ordered cheese, eggs and cauliflower. When she left, she had written something in the complaint box: super cauliflower, eggs but cheese was quite atrocious. (Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious)
Did you hear about the homosexual letter? It only came in male boxes
Can a match box? No but a tin can.
What do you call a bunch of white people in an elevator? A box of crackers.
What do you get when you put a baby in a box of razor blades, and throw it down the stairs?
An unfortunate accident happend at the nestlè factory,a man nammed joe was seriously injourd because a box of choclates fell on him. Every time he said “The choclates are on me!” every one cheerid.
Thank you for reading if you use this on another catagory please give me credit by saying my name at the end. P.s my name is None of your buissnes. Seriously.
Kids are like a box of chocolates they taste so good and u never know what u are going to get
Where do astronauts 👩🚀 keep their sandwiches 🥪?
In their launch box.🚀📦😂