Health jokes
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
You're so skinny that you fall.
What's meaner than a pit bull with AIDS?
The guy that gave it to him.
kayla?
Why drink water and not bleach?
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
You fighting? More like you're dying!
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?
A: Baked potato.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you'll find a brain back there.
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
Why did the gym close?
It's because it just never worked out.
What's something red that is bad for your teeth?
A brick.
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
What do you call a gay kid on fire?