Health jokes
Back bent.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
Rory Burrows is dyslexic.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
When you say, "I wish I could cut off these bumps on my neck." (Your mom walking to you with a knife.)
What sandwich spread makes people itch?
Flea-nut butter.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
Why did the bike fall over?
Because it was two tired.
Less depresso, more espresso, I'm still depressed, but now I'm fast.
Q: What do you call a person with Down's syndrome who smokes weed?
A: Baked potato.