Health jokes
Why did the stick fall?
Because he is a stick man.
What did Lucy say when she saw her sonogram?
"Looks like a rerun."
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Memes
Shitpost-master general
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
What is red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
Robert Smith walks into a hospital. The nurse says, "We have the cure!"
Why did the bike fall over? Because I was too tired.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Natyourcheese.
Natyourcheese who?
Natyourcheese, I wasn't gonna say bless you!
Why did the bodybuilder go to the crustacean church?
Because it was a good source of mussel mass!
If two people who have the clap sleep together, did they make an applause?
His favorite drink was his dribble.