Health jokes

Why should you never throw grandpa's false teeth at a vehicle? You might denture car.

If you are fat and transgender, then would you be considered trans fat?

What do you call an Irish person having a seizure? A Shamrock Shake.

What do you call a javelin thrower with Parkinson’s?

Shakespeare.

Why is there no medication in Africa?

Because doctors advised, "You don't take it on an empty stomach."

What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?

A baby with a javelin in its head!

If someone has a hyperfixation with drawing and playing, does that mean they are on the "artism" spectrum?

How do the Powerpuff Girls vape?

They take a "power puff."

What is an old lady's favorite exercise?

Trying to get up from the soft couch.

What’s the difference between a photocopier and the flu?

One makes facsimiles; the other makes sick families.

If a person with Down syndrome robs you, what do you say? “I’m up your Down.”

Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

One time, I worked at the zoo and I was feeding the monkeys.

And one of them μяɨɲąţ€ď on me.

And I went to the hospital and got a bloody nose the next day.

Numb Butt Wheelchair Club: No Feeling, No Problem!

Where do you take someone who’s been injured in a peek-a-boo accident?

To the I.C.U.

The COVID-19 situation has been especially stressful for the Flat Earth Society.

They fear that social distancing measures could push people over the edge.

Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?

Health and safety tips: Looking at your hairline is hazardous. For your best interest, please look away.

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to wake up sleeping pills.

What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?

Downy unstopables.