Health jokes
One tonsil said to the other tonsil, “We must be in San Juan Capistrano, here comes another swallow.”
What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?
Kids won't eat the broccoli.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
What would you do if you see a guy suffocating from the heat? I would call and dial 911, holy shit!
What's the difference between sleeping pills and my beating my meat?
Sleeping pills actually come with a prescription.
Memes
What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
What did the horse say when his throat was sore?
I have a hoarse throat!
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
The bright side of this pandemic is now both my hands look equally chapped and raw.
Why do doctors use so much lipstick?
Because they love cos-medics!
Yo mama is so fat, the doctor asked for her weight, she told her phone number.
What do you call a rapper who’s also a DOCTOR?
MC Healer.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
He had a bad case of CAVITY FLOWS.
"ADHD is brainless and autism is braindead."
What's 2ft long, blue, and stiff and keeps a woman up all night?
Cot death.
What does the receptionist at a sperm bank say when you leave?
"Thanks for coming. Hope you come again soon."
Q: What's green and yellow and eats balls?
A: Gonorrhea.
What do you call a skeleton that does nothing all day?
A lazy bones!
My friend asked which is better to have, and you have to choose: autism or Down syndrome?
💪 💪 🏋️♂️ What do you get when you cross a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a bukkake slut, and a physically disabled gay white male who works out at the gym, who is a sex worker?
Cum Junkie.