Health jokes
This is how to die soft 101.
Yo bro, you good? You need a hug?
I got something long stuck inside me last night, dammit, that needle hurt.
My mom once told me to spread positivity across the world, so I did.
I spread Covid across the globe because I tested positive :D
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Yo mama so stupid, she went to Dr. Pepper for a check up.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
Adin, you should consider eating pencil lead, you fat cat lover, only if you're the new Adin from FF though xoxo da babby.
The first time I heard your voice, my foreskin fell off.
When is a cold not a cold?
What did Eminem call himself when he lost weight?
Slim Shady.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
One day I visited my friend in a hospital.
I remember when I spoke, "You know, sometimes it's reaching its peak and its lowest state, but I know you'll always end like the others at calming and straight!"
Yes, I talked about the heart monitor beside him.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.