Health jokes
Q: What's the difference between a computer and an abortion clinic? A: Ctrl+Alt+Delete
My girlfriend told me her lips were dry, and she had the audacity to get mad at me for telling her to walk.
What do LGBTQ folk and folk with scoliosis have in common?
None of them are straight.
What kind of jokes doesn’t work out?
Fat people jokes.
Me: I broke me bum.
Dad: Oh, that is bad. I will get some Pooh in the toilet so I can heal your bum.
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
When that one night stand says she has AIDS but you laugh, "I choose D!"
She says...wait what?? I have all of the above! XD
The African kids' theme song is "Staying Alive."
Why did the pirate go to the gym?
To improve his booty strength!
Cancer HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
A: Do you eat food?
B: Yes...
A: You can sit on deez nuts then!
B: Omg I have depression now.
Why did the rapper go to therapy?
To work on his FLOW ISSUES.
Don't break someone's heart. They only have one.
Break someone's bones. They have 206 of them.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
Knock knock. Who's there?
Not Susie.
Dam, my balls itch like hell.
What's the difference between me and a depressed kid? At least I'm out of the grave.
What's the difference between dementia and a strawberry?
I don't know. I forgot.