What do you say to your partner with diabetes?
Hey, sugar!
Your dad went to the shop to get milk, came back, went again, but never came back due to a car crash due to an itchy rash.
Your mama is so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
I used to be a doctor, until a girl came in to get a kidney transplant, but I had to give her anal resizing surgery first.
What’s red, 11 inches, and makes my girlfriend cry when I slap her with it?
Her miscarriage.
Everyone, Alya is okay!!!!!!!!!! She got up, she can walk, and she can talk regular!!!!
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Ralphie: They put drugs in our medication?
Me: The medication is the drugs.
Ms. Katie: I heard about a Vegan baby.
Mom: Here’s your Happy Meal.
Ms. Katie: That’s not vegan, did you trick me?
Kids: Yeah!
Ms. Katie: That’s it, little baby Jimmy, I’m giving you shaking baby syndrome!
Mom: Please don’t hurt my son.
*Ms. Katie shakes Jimmy*
Mom: I’m secretly a cop, and you are arrested.
Cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer cancer.
"Dog the dog" and Maggie were frightened of her, and the kangaroo said that she had to be in a hospital with a doctor. Jokes and Maggie were walking. I was going to go off the road to the city hall to see her, and I said that the only one-piece dress for women readymade RB collection, as he was walking in the city, and Maggie was a little bit more on the side of it.
What's the difference between Cain Dashiell and Down syndrome?
Nothing.
You're so skinny, if someone farts in your direction, you will fly away.
What is an obese lady's blood type?
Nutella.
How do you make a baby float?
You take your foot off its head.
There are 4 people in a line. Three stand up and say "We are standing up for cancer," and then there's the one in the wheelchair.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Why did the man become stupid?
Cause he was suicidal, herbivorous. Ja...
A mom and her two children were eating at a place while playing trivia when she asked what does AIDS stand for? Her son Dallyn has no idea, but her daughter Emberlee, who has always been a little odd, says, "An Intentional Disease." Her brother and mom just stared!
A man awakes in a hospital and is confused. He decides to feel his legs, but to no avail.
"Doctor, doctor!" He cries out.
"What is it?" The doctor asks.
"I can't feel my legs!"
The doctor stands there for a moment - completely dumbfounded.
". . . That's because I amputated your arms."
