Health jokes
Why can’t mental hospitals have Halloween?
Because the patients thought the pumpkins were them. I tried.
If Jonny ate 29 out of 30 chocolate bars what would he have? Diabetus. Jonny would have diabetus.
Your mum's hairline was so long that you decided to get therapy.
Why don't some people have balls? Because they play soccer with them.
"Stand up for yourself! Oh, come on, walk it off."
If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!
The amputee: -_-
"Chelsea is the most consistent team.
One win in August, one win in September, and one win in October; it's just like a menstrual cycle.
If they don't win in November, just know that they're pregnant." 😅
Why is the world split in half? Because fat people are weighing the Earth down.
A big guy told the small guy, "Do you want a little pill because you look ill, or should I smash you?"
You have two brain cells; one is lost, and the other is out looking for it.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To eat Bob's arms.
Bob went to hospital and had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Bob.
How do u get 40 cigarettes in a pack?
U shove them down his throat. 🤣😂
What do hospitals do when they receive donor organs? They organize them.
What happened to the gator when he walked into the hospital?
He became Gatorade.
His favorite drink was his dribble.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
Just watched an upsetting video. Please retweet. #Stop The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
Why does cancer kill you? Because it does. 🌝
What is it called when the gynecologist slanders your grandfather?
A pap smear.
Mom, start eating, or else you will get fatter!