Health jokes
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Been getting a lot of paper cuts on my fingers lately, I guess it's a sign I should go lower.
I went to see my doctor today and I asked him how come every time I have sex my eyes hurt.
He said that’s a common reaction to pepper spray.
How does a prostitute that has blond hair and polish and a gay white male kill erectile dysfunction for his clients?
He performs fellatio on them.
What do you call it when a gay guy farts?
An abortion.
Why did the rapper go to the dentist?
To get his DENTAL FLOW checked.
This anorexic girl wanted to fight me. I told her that I would roast her, but she didn't have any meat.
What kind of nut hates baseball? A nut that’s sick.
The doctor said I have until 2:30 to live.
That’s like 20 years from now, I said.
He looks at the time. It’s 2:30.
What do you call a duck that is addicted to drugs?
A quack head!
My mom must be a duck then...
I told the doctor I didn’t want a brain surgery. But he changed my mind.
Why did the tomato blush?
Answer: Because it saw the salad dressing.
You're so small that when you go to the doctor, he doesn’t know you're there.
Why isn't there a ball pit at Taco Bell? Because it's hard to have fun knowing you might poop your pants.
A man ate a glue stick. It tasted bad. He died. Hahahahah!
One day, he started crying out of nowhere. Everyone started crying with him.
There was a crying pandemic going around.
- All over it like a fat kid on a cupcake.
- Giggling like a room full of fat kids.
- Drinking 8 cups of water a day seems impossible, but 8 beers and 3 shots in 3 hours goes down like a fat kid on a seesaw.
Yo mama so dumb, she studied for a COVID test.
A handicapped person and an orphan get into a fight. The orphan says, "At least I have two functional legs." The handicapped person says, "At least I have two functional parents."