Health jokes
Dentist said I grind in my sleep... he a real one for that.
Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last as long for fat people.
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
Two lepers meet on the street.
First says "How are you doing?"
Second says "Mustn't crumble!"
What do you get if you do not eat? Dry.
Jada Smith: Grow some balls!
Me: Grow some hair!
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
Your mother is so fat, she actually went on a diet and started exercising, and I hear she's doing quite well now.
Family is precious, so you have to keep them away from the sunlight.
Yesterday a woman stabbed me, so I stabbed her back. Then I realized she was the vaccine woman.
Why do you like cream instead of bugs?
Because bugs can kill you.
If you were a fruit, you would be a fineapple.
If you were a vegetable, I would visit you in the hospital.
What does a beaten woman do when she comes home from the hospital?
Dishes if she knows what's good for her health.
Person: My left ear is ringing.
Friend: Then answer it!
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Rory Burrows is dyslexic.