Health jokes
It's important to have a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between "antidote" and "anecdote," one of my best friends would still be alive.
Have you ever heard of hearing aids?
Yeah, me neither.
But you could get plastic surgery and look 20 years younger. With that, no one will suspect you!
For sale: Wheelchair, one careful owner, no longer needed.
Why is he called Stephen Hawking?
Because he is always trying to hawk up phlegm to clear his throat.
Memes
Rory Burrows is dyslexic.
Back bent.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
Have you met Bofa?
Bofa deez blind kids!
I thought you were just raising your eyebrow, but I checked the x-ray, and your skull shifted 128 degrees to the right.
Most of his Taliban friends have more wives than teeth.
Alles tut weh.
A monkey eats cheese. He was lactose intolerant.
When you wear a big hat and your butt starts to splat diarrhea!
How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a boogie in it!
I asked my teacher if I needed to be in the special ED class, but she said I don’t eat enough vegetables.
I think the pollen count is a difficult job. Especially if you have hay fever.
Looking at me is like being on your phone, in a car, on a long trip. You're fine for the first 10 minutes, then after that you feel sick.
Your bitch has Covid-19.
When you get to feel a dick in you, then suck bro, all your stress [goes] out the window.