Health jokes
What do you call the fighters with an extra chromosome?
Downy unstopables.
I never get off on the wrong foot.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
Putting her back in the wheelchair when you're done.
Yo mama is so fat, she gave a memory foam mattress Alzheimer's.
Why did the duck cross the road to get to his quack dealer?
Yo mama is so fat that her wheelchair had to be made into a couch!
You're so skinny that you fall.
A Make-A-Wish patient wanted to see Black Panther IRL, so I pulled his plug.
When you have erectile dysfunction, it could be expressed as the Leaning Tower of Pisa.
What did the fat say to the other fat? I am fatey.
The doctor said I would make it, but then Spider-Man came in holding a PS5.
Repeat after me: shut up; shut up; I don’t shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Your hairline goes so far back you have to wear sunscreen.
You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.
There's a new bird disease, it's called churpies.
It's a canariel disease, untweetable.
How do you get rid of a fat ghost? You exercise it.
Why did the booger cross the nose?
Answer: To get to the other hole.
You fighting? More like you're dying!
You're so bad at games, bro, they gave you AIDS before losing! 😹
Why drink water and not bleach?