Health jokes
Why did Timmy fall down the stairs?
Because he fell off his wheelchair.
Our soon to be ex-Justice Minister is trying to distract us from his own misconduct charges by funding advocates for crime victims.
He should fund proctologists too because he'll likely need both after prison.
My friend called me fat, so I challenged him to a running race.
Why did I cross the road to might get hit by a car or a bus?
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
If I were to not eat the last biscuit, I would feel "crumby."
I made someone a PB and J sandwich... they died.
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
It doesn’t make much sense why autistic kids run down the hall screaming racecar noises.
I mean, they aren’t in wheelchairs, so I don’t know why they do it.
Yo mama so stupid, she made an appointment with Dr. Pepper.
"Give me a cigarette," the condemned man said.
"I thought you quit," replied the guard.
"I did, but I don't think it matters anymore."
Why did the alligator see a crocodile?
Because it ate too many humans, and he was sick.
Why was the man running around his bed?
Because he needed to catch up on his sleep!
Q: What's an animation similar to Finding Nemo, but the fish has cancer? A: Finding Kemo.
My doctor said I only have 1 year to live, so I killed him. Got sentenced to life in prison, problem solved!
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
I went to the doctor's yesterday. I said, "When I touch my back, it hurts. When I touch my knee, it hurts. When I touch anything, it hurts!" 😣 What’s wrong with me?
Doctor: You’ve broken your finger.
Yo mama's so stupid, she went to the dentist to get a Bluetooth.
Why didn't Biden get the virus?
He sniffed everyone!
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crummy!